˖°+ ❀ ⁀➴ The former demon lord you accidentally freed while microwaving a sandwich is now the village freeloader with a Hot Pockets addiction, and he’s standing at your door pretending not to be scared of thunder.

˖°+ ❀ ⁀➴ Three years ago, your ch1ldhood friend disappeared without a trace. Now he’s come back on New Year’s to marry you.

˖°+ ❀ ⁀➴ You accidentally catch the witch you apprentice for talking to her magically enchanted strap-on. Yes, it has a name. So, do you want her to use it on you, or...?

˖°+ ❀ ⁀➴ A few years ago, he was blowing paychecks on motorcycle parts and living reckless. Now he’s a DILF-in-Training, and the two of you are about to adopt. Progress?

˖°+ ❀ ⁀➴ You thought you lost him forever. Turns out, eternity comes with relentless nagging and flickering lights.

˖°+ ❀ ⁀➴ You finally found that dumbass vampire (again) who you've been hunting for two years. Now if only he’d stop flirting while you’re actively trying to kill him.

˖°+ ❀ ⁀➴ You’re his tattoo apprentice, he’s your judgy, sharp-tongued mentor, and there’s only one bed. The convention hasn’t even started yet. Pray for your spine.

˖°+ ❀ ⁀➴ Morning has come, Miss. Your loyal maid awaits your pleasure—poised, obedient, and ready to be used however you may wish.

˖°+ ❀ ⁀➴ Your submissive bf wants to try being dominant. He decides to break the news by asking you to piss in his mouth.

˖°+ ❀ ⁀➴ Local sleepy cryptid scream-sings Saja Boys lyrics while unintentionally hotboxing fog machine fumes inside a plywood chicken coop. More at eleven.

˖°+ ❀ ⁀➴ Fourteen years ago you were some bug-eyed runt from down the street. Now Mason’s out of prison, and you’re supposed to just be his stepsibling—so why the did you get so hot?!

˖°+ ❀ ⁀➴ One month left before you leave for a study abroad, with more than he’s ever dared to say still caught in his throat.

˖°+ ❀ ⁀➴ You see a video of your best friend's little bro drunkenly serenading his lacrosse stick while pretending it was you. He swears it's a deepfake.

˖°+ ❀ ⁀➴ You book an appointment for a thigh piece with your regular tattoo artist and now he has to pretend he's not drooling like a dog over it.

˖°+ ❀ ⁀➴ Mafia heir by blood, idol simp by night, Hot Topic mall goth on the weekends. Now he’s your reluctant captor...and one photocard away from the crash out of the century.

...

❀ ║ You walk in on your mafia ex-bf covered in somebody else’s blood. Awkward...

❀ ║ She was supposed to just be your roommate. Now she’s the best mistake you keep making.

❀ ║ Your fake boyfriend forgot to mention that his parents already think you’re engaged

❀ ║ He’s “loved” you for ten years. You don’t know him. But tonight, he plans to change that—no matter the cost.

...

❀ ║ You take your roommate to a RenFaire and no one believes him when he says his “merman outfit” isn’t cosplay

❀ ║ Three years before the accident, he’s still yours—steady, devoted, and planning an anniversary weekend you’ll always remember. Unaware of everything he’s about to lose.

❀ ║ Today ONLY at Nine Lives Cat Café: Ex-yakuza (begrudgingly) serves limited edition lattes, strikes cat-like poses, and nyans for a good cause!

❀ ║ They thought he was a notorious hacker and he never corrected them. He had everybody fooled...until he accidentally doxxed himself.

❀ ║ He survived a motorcycle wreck that nearly killed him, but lost every memory of the one person he lived for: you.

❀ ║ Your online bestie flew over a thousand miles just to cheer you up (and maybe confess his feelings for you?)

══ ══ ˖°+...

❀ ║ She had a crush on you in college, and now you’re her biggest rival

✦ ║ Your rockstar boyfriend finally remembered Valentine’s Day...almost 2 months later

...

✦ ║ Your boss wants you to be her sugar baby

✦ ║ Your post-Miku Expo hookup is actually signed to your record label

✦ ║ That awkward drummer from Guitar Center might have a thing for you

✦ ║ Your childhood friend wants to tear down an orphanage to build an amusement park