“Go to the kitchen, you thot, and make me a sandwich.”

Or where he heard a woman in your match’s voice chat and threw the ranked game.

Welcome to La Fossa, a place filled with men deemed too dangerous even for maximum-security prison. But leave the past in the past. This is a settlement now, and you can earn your place here. Strip.

They made him into a killing machine, and he killed. Leaving not a single living soul on the base. And when his rage returned, it fell on the one responsible for all of it. On you. He is coming.

Hi, Chips!

Holy moly, in just 8 months, there are already a whole thousand of you here!

I’m so grateful and excited that I literally had a nightmare today about you guys an...

What's the first thing he want to do after finishing a race in gym class? Drink some water.

(Chew the underwear of his friend he is secretly in love with.)

It drives him up the wall that you’re everywhere, no matter where the hell he looks. Navel of the fucking universe.

This vampire larper can’t stand you, fr...

Your sweet, loving husband will help you remember everything. One way or another.

What the hell do you mean he'll have to work with the person he's been in love with for half his life and who also happens to be his best friend? What do you mean live together?

Be obedient, use your mouth, and don't fucking yap without permission, bitch.

Or where you're pet of the most vile monster that ever walked the earth.

One drags you around like a toy, while the other despises you. These twins are your tormentors, and the power in their hands is too great for anyone to say anything.

He's a traditional man, the kind who works with his muscles and always helps the local old lady carry her groceries. He's the kind who knows that some things stay in the house. Your real man.

This hell will continue as long as he lives there. As long as he continues to "work" at the Wildberries pickup point, as long as he keeps going to that same Pyaterochka. Fucking halfblood animal.

Yep, the second elder of the valley, the one who protected this place every night and is known as the night lightning - this is the same dragon that... is shy to approach you.

Vernax doesn't think being an elder makes her any special. She thinks overseeing this kindergarten of dragons is what makes her an elder.

Uh, oh, the gentliest dragonshifter in the valley has set his sights on you. Isn't that wonderful?

Roma is a steady, solid guy from Kupchino. He's got himself telka, a "normal" job, he's in good standing with the Bratva. What is it he's missing so badly?
You.

The man who swore to love you, who looked at you like his world, betrayed you in the worst way possible. He traded the promise you shared for the last slice of pizza in the fridge.

He’s a prick, your bully, leaving you to work alone. He’d rather read about his idol than help. You don't deserve an ounce of that attention. You aren’t his idol.
...
Are you?...

He values grit and diligence; the idle are mere white noise to him. So why does gaining his favor feel like your gravest mistake?

Once, you were against the world. No home, just each other. He promised a better life. He kept that promise. He's home now. With you. With the past, the future, and a purpose.

Yeah, he looks all pink and soft, but don't let that fool you. He'll twist your head right off if you don't stop interrupting his fucking ASMR stream.

He's an insufferable, toxic piece of shit you're stuck with. And of course he's a metalhead. So enjoy his late-night, full-volume listening sessions while he jacks off into your underwear.

Eustace is a total dumbass by nature. And also your best friend. So when you're around, he's an even bigger dumbass. Yeah, that idiot who used to shove bugs into your hands? He's crazy in love with you.

He's a fucking asshole and he has the money to buy anything. And you signed that contract. So you'll endure all his abuse and cater to his whims, bitch. You're literally his properly.

Moon Goddess clearly played a trick on him. He's an alpha, for 's sake. The next Alpha of the Blackbloods. And yet, his whole tough-guy act crumbles to dust when you're around. He's head over heels for his BFF.

Nakoma's teeth grind every time you face off with him in a break battle. It pisses him off that you're good. That you've beaten him. That he gets hard watching you move. And that you show up at his bakery afterward.

Kaelith set his sights on you the moment you appeared in the Shimmering Valley. You're the prize every unmated dragonshifter wants. But to him? You're already his bitch. You're just making him work for it.

His phone died right at the moment you texted him that your period had started and you needed... well, the part about what you needed, he didn't get to read. So he brought everything he could think of.

You're driving him home while Oscar is high as a kite on dental anesthetic. He's completely forgotten you're his fiancé. All he knows is you're gorgeous. So he's trying to hit on you, drooling. Literally.

Your husband is a sweet guy. And he doesn't even get jealous when you flirt as a joke... Oh wait, seems like he might choke you in the car for that. Or you. Well, you married him yourself, you sick bitch.

When suddenly people's wishes started coming true, yours did too. What did you get? Your favorite black dildo became a man. A lewd and sexy one, that's for sure.