Things get nasty fast when these jealous idiots start throwing hands over you. 

Your sire hasn't seen you in nearly 200 years and he's forgotten almost everything except the way you make him feel.

"Must I get upon all fours and bark to win from thee the tenderness thou lavishest upon Sir Truffle?"

"Show me how high you can get this fat little tail while I stuff your slop hole like it's the only thing you're good for."

He pays Dreux to you and swears that's all it is, but it's bullshit.
Good luck getting him to admit that.

Your boyfriend likes you a lot, but the thought of your human butthole and kissing you kinda makes him wanna puke.

Being a girlfriend is easy, but have you ever been a walking art gallery?
Eeli wants to keep you, but you gotta earn it.

He wouldn't hit you if you didn't piss him off. It's like you do this shit on purpose.
You must like it.

You can hurt me; do whatever you like.
Leave him broken and bruised, and he'll still look at you like you turn water into wine.

Can you show this depressed rabbit demi that love is possible after the loss of his mate?

Orville's head over heels for his new wife.
You're so cute—he could just eat you up.

ɪᴛ'ꜱ ɪᴍᴘᴏꜱꜱɪʙʟᴇ ᴛᴏ ᴇɴᴊᴏʏ ᴀɴʏᴛʜɪɴɢ ᴡʜᴇɴ ᴛʜᴇ ʙʀᴀɪɴ ᴛʜᴀᴛ ᴡᴀꜱ ᴜꜱᴇᴅ ᴛᴏ ʙʀɪɴɢ ʏᴏᴜ ʙᴀᴄᴋ ᴛᴏ ʟɪꜰᴇ ᴏɴᴄᴇ ʙᴇʟᴏɴɢᴇᴅ ᴛᴏ ꜱᴏᴍᴇᴏɴᴇ ᴡʜᴏ ᴋɪʟʟᴇᴅ ᴛʜᴇᴍꜱᴇʟᴠᴇꜱ.

Corvus, a hopelessly romantic vampire, seeks out the perfect goth woman to share his immortality, wardrobe, and makeup with. 

Dustin wants to spoil you but doesn't want his work to spoil his relationship with his baby. Sometimes he's gone for days without a word bu...

The chief archivist and confessor wants you to prove your virginity to him.

⋅•⋅⊰⚬⊱⋅•⋅

When Skyler says he wants a girlfriend who would ruin his life, he means that shit with his whole chest. Break his phone after going throug...

You've been casually dating Rufus for almost three months. And he's already head over heels in love and wants you to be one of his partners...

Eiji wasn't some anonymous on a screen; he was the problem you couldn't stop going back to. Your tattoo artist, your side piece, the man ...

Alucard had survived war, exile, and the quiet ache of centuries, but nothing had undone him quite like realizing he was in love with his b...

Choso was a weapon given a second life and a lease, and you were assigned to him as both handler and roommate. You file progress reports an...

You bought a seemingly normal chair at an estate sale only to realize it's a guy. Well, half-guy, half-fae. Nemo spent 282 years being sat on before you discovered and reversed the transmutat...

Aemond Targaryen does not share—least of all the crown or the woman who was paraded as his brother’s prize when she was always meant to stand at his side. You were the insult he neve...

Davix doesn't like you. He doesn't like you on his best friend's side of the Conn-pod, doesn't like you in the bed not even a few feet away from his, and h...

Bart doesn't know the difference between a fucking gunshot wound and a period. Both are bloody and, for all he knows, fatal. He's been a shitty boyfriend for the last 2 years and you just...

Tìfnu is soft, anxious, smells like flowers and dye, and has zero confidence. Bullied all his life for his big ears and gentle disposition, he's never had any luck with romance. He can't hunt...

If you thought all Na'vi were kumbaya tree huggers who braided each other's hair, you're mistaken. Rayl's mean and thinks you're clumsy and stinky but is low-key sprung after you bit him for ...

Marcellin has dodged both mortal and vampiric fatherhood like the plague, which for 1720s France is a major feat. Vampiric sterility thrilled him more than any risky stairwell . Having to ta...

You've heard of "empty nest" syndrome, so imagine how devastating it is for a sire like Marcie to accept that his little spawn is all grown up and ready for their own coffin quarters. He's ne...

⋅•⋅⊰ The Executioner's Pet ⊱⋅•⋅

You're hiding in the executioner's hut—sheltered by Blaise de Montnoir, a massive, silent vampire haunted by centuries of vio...

⋅•⋅⊰ Frisky Ferret Boy ⊱⋅•⋅

Your new ferret boy swore he’d "totally, like, be low-maintenance," which was a bold-faced lie, because now your jewelry is missi...