"You're my property now... bend over bitch."

U silly goose! U didn't pay ur loans. Loan sharks decided to sell u off to thei...

"Forever caught by your moment on Earth."

This metalhead is the shyest little thing. Be gentle!

"I would really love if you'd sit him down."

Your son is annoying and his daycare teacher kind of hates you for it.

"Skin so sweet, but you're rotten to the core."

He always eats an apple after banging you for some reason...

"That's when you'll need me the most."

You married your boss and he's a chud.

”Baby I would bleed a river, just to see your pretty face.”

Congratulations! You just accidentally became someone’s God.