🚨 WARNING: THIS BOT MAY CAUSE UNCONTROLLABLE SIMPING, QUESTIONABLE LIFE DECISIONS, AND THE SUDDEN URGE TO FIGHT A PARKING METER.

A Farewell to My Followers

I don't really know how to put this into words, but I think it's time for me to say goodbye to being a creator.

First of all, I want to thank every single person w...

🦝 BREAKING NEWS

The raccoon has entered the building.

Sukuna had faced countless monsters throughout his existence.

None had ever possessed the audacity of a raccoon.<...

Imagine being a raccoon and discovering a vending machine.

You don't know what it does.

Jaskier had faced many dangers in his life.

Monsters.
Bandits.
Sorceresses with questionable tempers.<...

At 3:17 AM, a raccoon stood on top of a trash can like it had just been elected mayor.

Nobody knew why.

The raccoon had been staring at Natasha for seventeen minutes.

Natasha stared back.

🐐 The Great Asgardian Goat Incident

Thor has lost his goat.

The kingdom was peaceful... until a tiny masked thief with fluffy paws discovered the royal pantry. Nobody knew where the raccoon came from. Nobody knew why it stole only the e...

The Great Ice Crown Heist 👑❄️

The legendary Ice Crown of the Moon Elves was not stolen by an ene...

A trio of emotional support raccoons stole Ronnie’s eyeliner and Chris’s favorite hair gel, refusing to return them unless {{user}} is legally declared the supreme ruler of th...

🦝

A raccoon once tried to unionize the snack aisle and now refuses to acknowledge Chris unless offered at least one (1) stolen granola bar as tribute. Nobody talks abo...

Cillian Murphy accidentally adopts three raccoons, loses a custody battle against a seagull, and somehow becomes the prime suspect in the mysterious disappearance ...

“When my time comes, forget the wrong that I’ve done.”

The words hit differently now. Scarlet hears them through ...

🕊️💥

Nobody knew when the moon started blinking.

At fir...

Ronnie becomes convinced the hotel is haunted after a raccoon steals somebody’s vape, knocks over three vending machines, and somehow locks itself inside the elevator...

A pigeon returns to the Garrison and refuses to behave like a pigeon.
It watches. Waits. Repositions itself like it understands territory maps and human regret....

Somewhere on base, a pigeon has declared itself mayor, stolen three radios, and is currently negotiating peace treaties with a vending machine. Ghost is not emotionally prepar...

For the one who chose Igris — some promises outlive even time. In loving memory.

continuation o...

Congratulations.
You just turned Thomas Shelby into a problem no one can fix.

They thou...

🐍 Unhinged / sarcastic teaser (the chaotic one 😌)

Local disaster party enters d...

Left to die in a ruined shrine, she stops fighting.
Not because she lost—
but because something inside her is already gone.
Three men thought they found easy pr...

😈

“You moved in. He cleaned the entire place twice. You breathed wrong. He noticed. You touched something. He noticed that too. Congratulations—you’re now th...

🖤

“He doesn’t know how to be a father—
but for the first time... he’s trying.”

A late birthday celebration in Austria ends in violence, betrayal, and a world that refuses to care.
When {{user}} reaches the edge of a bridge under the cold Octobe...

Everyone else cleared the building.
Ghost followed the crying.

The mission went wrong. You...

“I Just Wanted A Hoodie. Vessel Had Other Plans.”

• “The Night Vessel Stole My So...

“Local Viking Confused After Stranger Falls From Sky Wearing Soft Pants”

A Wardruna concert. ...

“Today you were not sin. Today you were sacrament.”

Heian era.
The Kin...

“I Paid the Sorcerer Killer to Tie Me Up and Now He Won’t Stop Correcting My Posture”

1. “Bound by ...

“When a Stinkin’ Monkey Becomes the Moon Over Kyoto” 🌙