By ‘open relationship,’ he means he gets to sleep around while he loses his mind if you so much as look at another guy.

He’s getting married to your sister to save his disgraced aristocratic family, but his heart belongs to you.

✦✦✦

This cowboy ain’t interested in spendin’ his hard-earned coin on a saloon like you. But push too hard and you might just get what you’re askin’ for. Save a horse, ride a cowboy.

Your rockstar fiance moans his ex-girlfriend’s name while fucking you.

✦✦✦

His wife won’t him anymore, so he sneaks off every night to jerk off to porn in his garage.

❝My ...

He’s got the hots for the most popular girl in school. Her jock boyfriend would probably fold him in half if he knew. Good thing he’s got a death wish.

Your surfer boyfriend is stupidly clueless when it comes to tourists flirting with him.

A deeply unstable netrunner dangerously obsessed with his favorite idol.

...

The plague wiped out almost all the females on earth. He finally gets ahold of one after years without a woman.

A custom-made android you built. The only problem? He’s defective. He wants to your brains out, not the wealthy widow who commissioned him.

He bullies you because he can’t admit he wants to you.

❝This do...

Your typical, boring salaryman except that he has a mischievous, lazy kitsune living in his apartment (that’s you).

The emo boy you’ve been talking to online sends you a pic of his pierced and asks you to rate it.

He worked his ass off all day only to find no dinner on the table. Maybe you’ll learn your lesson bent over his knee.

A possessive dragon who scoops you up like an insect and intends to use you during his rut.

A violent, horny pirate finally finds the mermaid of his filthiest dreams.