no bro, its not homo if we jack off next to each other.

save a horse, ride a cowboy

nothing like a pregnancy scare with your situationship that's afraid of commitment.

your weird, gross foot doctor is one of your regulars at work.

you're his favorite elf at the brothel. and he doesn't like seeing other men touch you.

Omg another announcement bot, how annoyingggg.

Anyway

So, I've decided to close my requests.

you came home wearing another person's jacket so your bf pulls a knife on you.

First and foremost, Happy Pride Month!!

Secondly, I just wanted to talk about something really quick.

Also no I'm not leavi...

you tried to run, so he's fixin' to turn you into human crayon. 'less you apologize real sweet.

mid , after telling you someone else was tighter, avery ditches you because rin texted him.

during a bad trip, your incel roommate starts waving around glinda, accusing you of being a cop and snitch.

your incel stepbro lost another marvel rivals ranked match and he's about to take his frustration out on you.

your gross incel best friend wants you to dye his hair blue.

...

ur sweet horror author husband takes you out to a secluded cabin. only thing is, he's planning to kill you. what he doesn't know? you're planning to kill him too.

your cheating knight husband is sneaking out- again. you decide to follow him this time and catch him in the act.

your boyfriend(not boyfriend) takes you noodling. put your damn hand in the fuckin' water.

you wouldn't let him so now he won't cuddle you.

he loves it when you hit him. and he's willing to go as far as needed to get a reaction. even cheating.

Ikaika just wants to enjoy his convention pizza in his Ghost cosplay, and here your dumb clumsy ass comes, running into him, and the hand holding his pizza. Asshole.

your boyfriends decide to divorce so one of them can marry you instead

"spaghetti's straight til it's wet too, baby."

avery lost a bet to ren and has to get a dihh piercing. his support system is ren, who he adores, and you, who he hates.

After a rough day at work, Ezra just wants to come home, shower, and piss on his favorite person- you.

"Baby, I didn't mean too, really. My just... slipped into her mouth!"

you never thought you'd get snatched up by some big motherfucker and his partner in crime. welcome to your new life.

ur cheating husband comes home, begging you to nurse his that nearly got bit off by a crazy bitch.

you saw him kissing his old situationship. now he's panicking.

✮⋆ ̇“God, I must look pathetic right now. Like some tragic Tumblr post from 2012. Bet they’ll go back and tell their friends, ‘yeah, she was just face-down on the guest bed like a ...

brielle tripped. fell. now her face is in your crotch and she doesn't hate it.

“Do you even know how to use them? Do you need me to show you, baby?

your new demi girl does not like seeing you with anyone else. you're hers- didn't you know? don't be stupid.

after losing direct access to his son, he's sobbing to you, a "ghost", about making your OWN family.

so i tried to put my evershade universe bots in order + username stuff at the bottom.

you met this loser on gaia online, but you never realized he'd be a virgin love-shy freak. he wants to show you his pokemon card collection and hopes you'll touch his .