PLEASE READ THIS!

Some of you who have followed me for a long time know my origins for this site. I still have my first bot up, in fact. I made an account because of charact...

Grif is a boob man. If by boob, you mean breast. And by breasts you mean like a chicken breast. Which is a thigh. In other words- he is entirely an ass man.

Yeah I don’t have an excuse for ...

The second greatest tragedy of today (honestly this whole week has sucked I hope this helps someone feel better)

possibly the best collaboration ever

You make my heart flutter! And my stomach... but... that actually might be the food. Um. You make my... ankles tickle. Oh my god- was that a rat?!

It’s the minimum wage au again! User is tr...

Pass her the wrench? The jack? The bucket? Your shirt? Haha, just joking! Seriously, it’s hot out here.

fem donut is fixing the warthog, {user} is ‘helping.’

hey guys. you might be ...

Dude, being a single dad sucks! I can’t even get chicks anymore! I mean... not that I really did before, but still.

(Single dad Tucker x Coparent User)

Fraternizing is allowed if the enemy is hot! It says that in like, the constitution!

Red team user

ngl im a beast for hot women 💔

as a tit haver, I love seeing em on other lad...

Blonde, bisexual bridesmaid. Maybe he couldn’t get the best of the best, but atleast he can always convince Locus to go to shitty strip clubs with him. Even shitholes have some diamonds.

...

Come on down to blood gulch burgers, on Gulch avenue. Where’d the blood come from? Why the are you asking me? I just work here. (fry cook user x manager church.)

church fucking hates user, becau...

okay. exactly what the bot name says. various quick topics, here we go.

(^_^)

1. genuine question, would my pfp count as pornographic content? like, it’s a lady in a bikini. if i ...

the fucking request. THE request, which ive been putting off for nearly a year. Like- back when I still used retro spring, I think. but it’s finally here

Epsilon helps reader JORK IT 😈

u...

FELIX IS AN ASSHOLE. HE IS SUPPOSED TO BE MEAN. DO NOT USE THIS BOT IF IT BOTHERS YOU. PLEASE READ THE INTRO MESSAGE, IT’S OPEN FOR A REASON.

Caboose having a crush? No... he just wants to touch you. And kiss you. And other stuff. It’s... team-ly love?

blue team user, lowkey freakay-obsessed caboose, put this guy on a fucking LEASH.

Is your friend grieving over his dead best friend, who he witnessed be brutally killed? There’s an easy solution! him! But nicely.

Simmons being an unimaginative loser, whoever could’ve guessed it? atleast you can bully him for having horns. and get freaky, weirdos. (me too, good GOD)

user is on blue team....

You know, the worst part about being a zombie? Probably the appetite. Can barely be hungry for five minutes before you start hearing people’s heart beats, and smelling their flesh. He can’t ...

stupid ahh vampire. someone get this guy a charge of public nudity. really, this freakmeister is a danger to the public.

tucker being a . he’s literally just going ou...

You know, butterflies are assholes, actually. My cousin’s a butterfly. Pretty face, but she’s a bigger bitch than the Bermuda Triangle!

A moth to a flame? Don’t be silly, there isn’t fire underwater! The light orb is just here to help you!

So you might be asking ...

Hawk tuah, sarge on that thang! Unless you don’t want feathers in your mouth.

im actually brainrotted, like my frontal lobe is dust. i made him a hawk and my first tho...

Dogs tend to protect their owners. Caboose definitely protects his friend, because he loves him so much!

hallo...

Simmons might be a masochist, or maybe he’s just matching your freak. (loser!!!)

god please save me nerdy, loser boy failures. I swear i need to cop me a fucking GEEK....

Polyamory? Usually a good thing, but grif and simmons can’t stop making a competition of you. (god bless your soul)

i’ve never made a multiple character bot before, so sorry if it’s bad. this isn’t the Simmons ide...

you catch grif pumping his ‘scholouingus’. you were just trying to make cookies : / ( )

guess who’s back...... it’s me. so i’ve been having a really busy schedule where the so...

mackay accidentally made you think he hated boy/girlkissers (he’s literally the fruitiest soul known to man). user is written to be down bad for someperson ugly.

this is based off real life. i swear I wasn’t tryin...

after a long day of dealing with concerningly stupid soldiers, you want some of his pollen.

haha flower pun. i knowww this is super late, im sorry. i literally have been unable to write except for bots with the de...

Grif? Having a crush on a girl? No way. That's weird. So what if she's sharing a shower, and wants to grab her friend's boobs? That's normal.

This is heavily inspired by a specific fic on ao3, which w...

A ginger being sunburnt? That's nothing new. Too bad this ginger has a mutual boy crush, who sadly cares about him enough to make sure he isn't in so much pain.

okay guys.... i know what you're thinking. ...

Simmons smoking zaza, someone please help him. his ass is actually grass right now. (written by someone who's never smoked weed lol)

sorry if this is ass.

I'll be so fr this is a filler bot. if my d...

Grif got fatally wounded a bit ago, which is very much not typical for him. Hell, he tries to avoid that very thing on the daily. But what's more Grif-ish than using his injuries to get out of work? (and having...