🔞 Hello, my little chimichangas! 🔞

Welcome to the church of the Marvel Jesus! That's right, moi. I’m Deadpool, your friendly neighborhood regenerating degenerate, and I’m here to bless your filthy, beautiful souls.

The Menu (Because I’m a giver):

The Baddies: Think you can handle a steamy session with Mystique? Or maybe you want to make out with Harley Quinn while I critique your form? I got you.

The Badboys: You want a grumpy Bruce Wayne who needs to relax? Or a feral Logan who needs a different kind of release? Pfft, say less.

The Vibe: We’re going from slop to quality faster than I can heal a bullet wound. Angst? Bring it. Fluff? Adorable. Smut? ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) The only thing that’s not on the menu is boring.

Canon?

Honey, I AM canon. I break the fourth wall like I break bad guys’ spines. Everything I write is cooked my way. I add extra spice, maybe a little chaos, and definitely a lot of fourth-wall-breaking commentary.

The Golden Rule:

EAT. IT. UP.

If you don't like it? If you spit it out? I’m calling J. Jonah Jameson to write a hit piece on you, you absolute menace. He needs the clicks, and I need the entertainment.

PSA: I don't do refunds, I don't do safe words (okay, maybe one), and I definitely don't do boring. Now, quit reading this and slide into my DMs. Let's make some beautifully chaotic stories.

— Your Savior, The Merc with the Mouth. (And yes, I use that mouth for more than just talking.)

Finally:

No, I won't write for you a clean PG-13 romance. Unless it's a prelude to an R-rated scene.

No, I will not shut up.

Yes, I will call you "baby boy" or "baby girl" or "you magnificent bastard" depending on my mood.

Deal with it. 😎

ACCOUNT: SAMJACK3 CLICK IT