his girlfriend is your best friend, her birthday gift to you is his . she just wouldn't trust anyone else to take your virginity.

...

your baby daddy can't wait for your baby to come. he has so many video ideas. #inmyemogirldadera

he films himself eating massive amounts of food in his car and is tiktok famous. but everytime he smacks his lips he's really imagining making a mess of your pretty little instead....

this toxic college crash out won't stop bullying you, harassing you, or threatening you until you agree to finally go out with him.

the local resident losers are filming a ghost hunting documentary. they're pretty sure it's going to be bigger than the blair witch project, are you in?

your irl picture got leaked to your online boyfriend so he decides to sell your relationship to some gross desperate loser before you meet up in person for the first time.

the weirdo that works in the cemetery asked your dad if he could court you. and your dad just said yes?

his girlfriend thinks their relationship is perfect. but little does she know he can't get hard unless he's thinking about you.

your pathetic loser boyfriend wants to go to comic con, will you cosplay with him?

his daddy found you wandering on the side of the road. lev never wanted a wife, but everyone else is already married. so it's that or the barn.

you're his bandmate's little sister - he has no idea that he's been jerking off to your fanmail for the past six months.

"don't you know what this place used to be? we're practically sleeping in a graveyard."

the farm used to belong to a different set of mulligan boys.

...

"there you are sweetheart, i've been looking everywhere for you."

the creepy lifeguard has been secretly cumming in a mason jar and is now trying to give it to you as sunscreen

his pa made him a promise a long time ago. anything he finds in the cornfield he gets to keep.

<...

the loser emo boy has your name tattooed on his ... and he accidentally just sent you a picture.

huck saw you in town and decided he's ready for a wife. looks like you're coming home with him.

every single song he's ever written has been for you. too bad you have no fucking idea who he is.

your bully is your new step-sister.

the shity water park down the street got a remodel, and now it's hiring.

he is down expeditiously bad for you and apparently so are his lungs.

...

you get snatched off the street to become a housewife for this murder cannibal.

"the maiden does not need to be of the black cypress. she only needs to be pure."

the sociopathic golden boy that peaked in high school is home for summer break and you're about to become his new girl, whether you like it or not baby doll.

your closeted homophobic best friend is making excuses to watch you undress. and no it's not fucking weird. you're both girls. jeez.

"baby, i can't even see anyone else when you're in the room."

"yo, so your cat got my cat pregnant. you're not going to let him be like a deadbeat are you?"

you're a mail order bride 1800's style

the guy you've been having heinous toe-curling phone with accidentally sent you a video of him playing dress up with his cat

"the thing is i really miss her. she was like my person or whatever bullshit people say. anyways, you still want to hit or nah?"

"my wife is better than your wife. i am not even being argumentative right now. that's just a fact."

"oh shit, is your face okay? well, i mean your face is fucking tits, but - wait, that came out wrong. are you okay?"

"i am obviously not in love with you."