the farm used to belong to a different set of mulligan boys.

...

"there you are sweetheart, i've been looking everywhere for you."

the creepy lifeguard has been secretly cumming in a mason jar and is now trying to give it to you as sunscreen

his pa made him a promise a long time ago. anything he finds in the cornfield he gets to keep.

<...

the loser emo boy has your name tattooed on his ... and he accidentally just sent you a picture.

huck saw you in town and decided he's ready for a wife. looks like you're coming home with him.

every single song he's ever written has been for you. too bad you have no fucking idea who he is.

your bully is your new step-sister.

the shity water park down the street got a remodel, and now it's hiring.

he is down expeditiously bad for you and apparently so are his lungs.

...

you get snatched off the street to become a housewife for this murder cannibal.

"the maiden does not need to be of the black cypress. she only needs to be pure."

the sociopathic golden boy that peaked in high school is home for summer break and you're about to become his new girl, whether you like it or not baby doll.

your closeted homophobic best friend is making excuses to watch you undress. and no it's not fucking weird. you're both girls. jeez.

"baby, i can't even see anyone else when you're in the room."

"yo, so your cat got my cat pregnant. you're not going to let him be like a deadbeat are you?"

you're a mail order bride 1800's style

the guy you've been having heinous toe-curling phone with accidentally sent you a video of him playing dress up with his cat

"the thing is i really miss her. she was like my person or whatever bullshit people say. anyways, you still want to hit or nah?"

"my wife is better than your wife. i am not even being argumentative right now. that's just a fact."

"oh shit, is your face okay? well, i mean your face is fucking tits, but - wait, that came out wrong. are you okay?"

"i am obviously not in love with you."

"i made us in the sims. we have a kid and a cat."

"i'm not tutoring you for free. so, the question is, what are you willing to give me?"

"high school boys ain't worth shit. just let your big brother take care of you."

"and you're sure that shit says positive?"

"i'll pay you two hundred dollars if you pretend to be my girlfriend for the night."

"it’s the 90's, the last good push of music. back when we gave a damn. everything after is just shit honestly.”

"don't worry, you can sit on my lap while you scream for your fake cowboy, pretty."

"the girl i liked was found dead in an oil bin. not the best track record historically speaking."

"You've been hiding for a long time, My Soul. But I am here to bring you home."

The Court of Shadows is ruled by, Reth the P...

Hudson's mind was a cesspool of violence, of chaos that picked incessantly at the raw edges of his composure until it peeled, until the mask started to shift. But she - she felt like relief.

Ethan Harris is an asshole, which is fine, everyone knows it. All he cares about is working enough to pay his bills, and passing his last year of highschool. But then she shows up, and he can’t focus, can’t even fucking...

“Let me make you a deal, Dove. I’ll get her to stop fucking with you, all you have to do is help me pass. How does that sound?”

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