“my tongue doesn’t fucking panic.”

one bad review. now your best friend plans to use your as a study guide.

...

“Open the door! Open it, or I swear to God I’ll fucking kick it in! I’m sorry... I shouldn’t have said it. I’m not going to hurt you. I just need you to open the door. Please...”

Best way to meet your new neighbor? Definitely hearing their porn blasting at full volume.

Your father trusts him. So yeah... that’s probably a problem.