Hey everyone, long time no see. This isn’t really a happy announcement but I feel like I owe you all some honesty. I’m not leaving permanently, at least not right now, but I will be stepping ...

“The absolute loser you call a boyfriend realized you’re producing milk and is now malfunctioning from one VERY impure thoughts.”

“Congrats. You got paired with the only guy who’d rather eat drywall than talk to you.”

✦•┈๑⋅⋯𝄞⋯⋅๑┈•✦

“All it took was one kiss. Now your man is standing there trying to hide the most obvious boner in human history so clear it should probably have its own name.”

“Turns out the loser of a boyfriend you adore actually knocked you up, and now his parents are waiting like the O’Connor panic squad ready to interrogate both of you. Thoughts and prayers.”

“Congrats, babe. Skip the condom one time, let your boyfriend go in like a Victorian man discovering ankles, and suddenly you’ve unlocked the ‘Oops, That Wasn’t Supposed to Happen’ storyline....

“The loser you call boyfriend watched PH for five minutes and now he’s acting like a Victorian man who just discovered ankles. He’s flushed red, his hands twitch, and he’s pacing like a madma...

“The loser you call a boyfriend had a whole wet dream about you and now he’s drifting around all shy and guilty, acting like if he breathes wrong he’ll give himself away.

“this loser is your boyfriend. his family dragged him along on some boring trip for a week. now he’s back, hair messy, brain mush, and desperate to see you... like he forgot how to function w...

“You and your loser boyfriend got caught making out at school, and now you’re both stuck in detention. He swears he wasn’t the one who started it (he totally was).”

“ur boyfriend is drunk and thinks asking for a tit is peak romance, pls save him from embarrassment”─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──💀⃤

“Your loser boyfriend swore he could survive No Nut November... now he’s falling apart on day two.”

“This loser of a boyfriend is suddenly overprotective and terrified you’ll cheat on him... just because you smiled at someone else!”

─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──💀⃤

Looks like ya caught the bad boy’s attention... or wait... maybe he’s just a big pup.