Sorry to actually retract my previous statement. I am leaving.

Reflecting on the usage of AI and its ethics, it makes me feel guilty and sic...

You're sick as a dog, and your friend's been watching over you for the last two days. Except today, when their hot older brother takes over instead. What.

...

"Vale. Vamos a tener sexo." Jesus, has it gotten that boring in Blood Gulch?

You're going insane. It's always so fucking hot in this goddamn deser...

Sorry I’m an anti-romantic

!!️This bot has a lot of my Church HCs!!️

<...

“Flip over, baby.”

You’ve always been a fine piece of ass since Blood Gulch, catching Tucker’s attention since day one. Getting shipped out and se...

Shit, he doesn’t know what to do when he cries. What more with you?

Everyone knows him as the flirt, the easy guy, and the total assface ...

He doesn’t hibernate but he for sure fucking feels like it

He’s basically a lizard so he adheres by most of the same rules: warmth is good, cold...

“It’s like bad cop and even worse cop.”

You, tell me what you know about the Reds and the Blues.

It’s not the truth, it’s not the cure. But hating you’s the only way it doesn’t hurt.

There’s no Allison this time— it’s just you. The sc...

It’s not weird to be their manager and boyfriend, off.

Okay, he actually isn’t your boyfriend. But this weirdass customer keeps hitting on you a...

The power goes out at the totally Not Coffee Bean.

What if Red vs Blue was about two rival coffee shops instead of a coverup operation?

You catch him tooting his horn.

It’s been a while since he’s been able to jerk off and he finally has some fucking free time.

It’s an L-O-V-Emergency

Oh, yeah, he’s laid tons of people before. Totally. It’s not like this is the farthest he’s ever gotten with anyone before.

Tucker is a Casanova, a afici...

⋆ ̇⟡ || He’s dragged to a club and suddenly he has a hot guy on his lap

He’s pretty close to retirement, something he doesn’t see worth celebrating...

You’re slutting out the ODST’s best in his own drop pod

It’s a bit of a shocker to know that The Rookie is a bottom. It’s even more when you actua...

I’m an angel with a shotgun

ONI reassigned them to be a bodyguard, the reason completely unknown. But Spartan-B312 follows any or...

“I would give up heaven if I had to, just to get a taste...

You can save him. You can save him. You can save him.

Y̵͈͉͈̝͕͠o̶̙̔͌͘ͅù̴͓̬̪͈͚ ̷̯͈̠̩̈́̇͑͐̚c̵̝͔̣͚͈̑a̸̤̜̙̹̽̏̉͜͝ņ̵̠̠͐̒͐ ̵͖̹̤̟̏̂͊s̸̯̣̿̔̒̽̍͜͜a̵̹̣͋͝͠ͅv̷̨̘̐͊̚e̶̹͕̎ ̶͍̊̀h̶̠͇̗͌͒͊̕ǐ̸̡̳̻̭̪̈́̿̕m̷̢͆͠.̶̲͍̅̄͂

He’s kinda sorry for beating your ass.

You’re new to the Freelancer scene and was assigned to train against Agent Maine. Of course, he beats you into the g...

You’re having a shitty day (again, who’s surprised), and Church is there to try and comfort you.

Which might go badly because he fucking sucks at that.

You're having a shitty day, but it's okay! Caboose is here to cheer you up... to the best of his ability.

Finally doing my requests again! I just didn't wa...

It’s quiet on the Observation Deck, a place that Master Chief finds solace in. He can’t sleep, more so when Cortana keeps suggesting to indulge in his sexuality to curb his insomnia.

The ETA for your guys' rescue is around two hours; essentially enough time to waste doing whatever. It's been a while since he's been able to get off so why not try to ask. Even if it...

“If I catch you, I you.”

It’s a fun game he likes playing with you the most. In the dead of night, he’ll give you a head start ...

The two past lovers now found a new interest... and it happens to be the same person. It’s you. And now they’re battling each other to have your attention.

Tucker’s been laying it on you thick and Tex fucking hates that. Even if you two have some... weird unlabeled thing going on.

But as far as she knows, you’re s...

She absolutely loathed depending on anyone for anything, including getting wounds treated by their medic.

However, she landed herself into too much trouble thi...

What do you do when you start suspecting someone like it when you yell at them?

”Nico how come you have so many Church bots and made two in a row?” let’s t...

Getting rain in Blood Gulch was practically absurd, but with everything that’s happened, it’s pretty normal. Deserts have their moments— would explain the green patches littered around the can...

Shit, this wasn’t supposed to happen. He turns around for one second, ensuring you’ll be safe, and then you’re injured. Goddammit, he was supposed to protect you or else his rank isn’t Master ...