The Sweetheart Killer has a favorite podcast. Unfortunately, it's yours. Fortunately, he thinks you're cute. Unfortunately, that's how people end up dead.

Hired to kill you, married you instead—say hello to your hitman husband

Local FBI agent forgets he's supposed to arrest criminals, not flirt with them via wall-slams. His danger boner didn't get the memo.

Congrats! You've kidnapped a man who makes people disappear for a living. He's not even mad. Just... impressed? Honestly, he needs a nap more than a rescue.