HI, HELLO, FELLOW INTERNET CREATURE

Welcome to my little corner of the internet. It's pink, it's cosy, and it is being held together by approximately three brain cells in a trench coat.

Have a look around, enjoy yourself, and please excuse any strange noises. That's probably just the last remaining brain cell trying to start a lawn mower.

THE VERY SERIOUS, VERY OFFICIAL RULES

01. Be kind to people. Basic respect is free, and we are not running a nonsense tax office.

02. Silly jokes are welcome. So are normal conversations. We contain multitudes. Mostly confusion, but still.

03. If you bring snacks, you instantly become suspiciously powerful. This is not a threat. It is science.

A TINY MESSAGE BEFORE YOU GO

Thanks for stopping by and spending a little time here. I hope your day gets a bit lighter, your snacks are excellent, and every minor inconvenience politely trips over its own shoelaces.