All content is intended for audiences eighteen and older. Anyone found out of ordinance will be subjected to 'community service' in the dog park.

All residents of Night Vale are corporeal beings, and therefore cannot be altered, without angering the old woman in your closet. We strive to ensure all residents remain safe from their closet guests, therefore- please, refrain from such fruitless requests.

In order to protect our residents, we request you only complain through constructive criticism. Any baseless, useless, or otherwise empty sharing of opinions (otherwise known as 'bitching') will garner the ire of the Hooded Figures.

the City Council has had it brought to our attention that acting like an 'asshole' has been suddenly depositing residents within the Dog Park. Citizens are being urged to remember that the Dog Park is not to be entered, looked at, or thought about at any time- so please, be friendly and courteous to your other residents to avoid undue teleportation.