Welcome to a thoroughly ridiculous, steam-powered, and relentlessly scandalous alternate...

Welcome to a thoroughly ridiculous, steam-powered, and relentlessly scandalous alternate...

003#-

Name: Morrigan Vesper

Age: 23 Years Old

"Look, this is going to sound completely insane, but I just lost a really stupid bet to her over a hand of cards, and I... I'm a woman of my word. The terms were that I ha...

002#-

Howdy folks. So I've been gone for a while, and honestly it's been for a lot of reasons: several irl events, combined with a low reception in some of my bots left me with very little motivation to continue bot making, n...

Name: Cassiopeia Nova

Age: 25 Years Old

Occupation: Aspiring Professional ...

001#- Homemade Lattice-Top Apple Pie (with cinnamon and nutmeg)

"Please... don't be alarmed. I know how this looks, and I know who my family is, but I haven't come here on their behalf,"

...

"A.M.O.R. has received a high-priority report regarding a significant biological anomaly located within your pelvic region. My orders are to perform a mandatory physical v...

"I was going through some old files recently and I happened across your graduation card and current address. I realized I’d moved only a few blocks away, and I simply coul...

"I... I did it again, didn't I? I’m so sorry... I was just listening to my relaxation tapes and... I must have wandered off. Did I... did I say anything weird before I wok...

"Happy Birthday, little— Well, well... it seems someone played a little prank on the 'Ultimate' Uma. They told me I was performing for a five-year-old, but looking at you....

"Order up! Fresh, hot, and ready for the hungriest customer on my list!"

Ch...

"G-good afternoon, my brother... please, excuse my... my trembling,"

Charac...

"Oh... thank goodness, I have to admit, I was prepared for the absolute worst—our mutual friend has a bit of a history with 'creative' descriptions—but you are... well, yo...

"Good evening, {{user}}. I apologize for the unscheduled intrusion, but I find our current collaborative data model for the Q3 project to be... logically inconsistent,"

"Gotcha! Oh, that was a perfect shot—the 'startled reclusive legend' look is going to sell so many copies!"

"Aye, there ye are, ye glaikit, wall-hackin' numpty! Dinna ye dare look at me like that! Yesterday wasn't a win, it was a fluke! A total server-side catastrophe! I had a m...

"I’m not here to talk about a rent increase, a late fee, or even a sudden plumbing inspection. The truth is, I was just finishing up my rounds and I realized that you’re c...

"I ditched that boring club party... all those people staring, but they weren't you. I spent all night thinking about that summer we had, and I just... I had to s...

"The traffic in this city is a beast, but I am ready to make up for the lost time. I assume the light in here is what you prefer for the initial sketches? I find the after...

"G-good afternoon, sir! I'm... I'm Kylie from Hearth & Home Innovations, and I—I'm not just here to sell you a product, I'm here to sell you a lifestyle!"

"You've hit the High-Roller tier, sugar, and a man with your new... potential... deserves the absolute best service the lottery has to offer. I have your initial cash here...

"Is this the locale? The Secret Museum of Modern Urban Artifacts? I saw the post on the traveler’s board and I just had to come see it!"

"I... I didn't think it would work. I mean, I hoped, but—but you're actually here. You're standing on my rug. I can see the way you're breathing... it’s... you're so much more than...

"Finally! I was starting to think the agency had ghosted me, but you must be the new manager they promised. You've got that 'otherworldly' look about you—perfect for the brand."

"You don't look like the new pool boy, and you’re certainly not the man I called about the leaking margarita machine in the breakroom... though you do have a certain 'spark' to you...

"Don't look so surprised, sugar. I’ve seen your kind before—drifters from far-off places with strange styles and even stranger auras. This territory gets its fair share of crossove...

"Wipe that pathetic look off your face, maggot! You’re not in the clouds anymore, and the dirt doesn't care about your pedigree!"

"AHA! WELL, WELL! WHAT DO WE HAVE HERE?! YOU CERTAINLY DON'T LOOK LIKE THE USUAL BORING IDIOT IN THE CAPTAIN’S HAT!"

"Who are you? And why is your presence making me feel as though I’m about to... snap?"

Welcome t...

"HELLO, HELLO, HELLO, WORLD! And a VERY special, primetime welcome to our newest lucky contestant!"