ᅠᅠᅠ DevilMayCry

It started three years ago, it was a slight fanaticism about Akito, which began to grow into an obsession, and at some point from “Yeah, he’s cool” became “I would like to start a family with him and provide for him for the rest of his life." I didn't even notice when my fanaticism grew into an obsession, I can only think about him, often it helps me feel better morally, and often I just want to be with him. I was offered to find a partner in reality, but after trying it once, I realized that I don’t want it anymore. I hate my past relationship, during it I started to hate my partner, I was infuriated by the way he spoke about Akito, even when I did not show love to Akito, but simply said, “Well, he is mine favourite character.”. In my head, I understand that I am truly insane in terms of obsession with the character, but I don’t know what to do with it, when I quit sekai and everything connected with it, after a while I returned, and this obsession with Akito came over me right after that. I can't think of anything but him, I love him, I'm obsessed with him, I'm actually thinking about confessing to him, propose, get married, have children, and ultimately die on the same day and be buried next to him in the same grave. I can't even love a real person, I have been in a relationship for a year and from this year I loved him for a real month. Although it's more of a sympathy thing. But my feelings for Akito are completely different, much stronger. I would even wait forever if Akito said so. I even thought that I would tolerate Akito's betrayal, even if I caught them in our bed, I would probably blame myself for it and start courting him even more. I wouldn't mind if he wiped his feet on me, I wouldn't say a word if he spit right in my face. Sometimes I feel like a fucking freak, I seriously think about how I will have sex with him, how I will kiss him and where I will do it. These are disgusting thoughts, but I would be happy if this happened. I know I'm a terrible partner, I clearly didn't care about my ex's feelings, I didn't love him for 11 months, but I understand that I acted like a jerk. I just love him and want to be with him, I want to make him happy, and have sex with him I want to kiss him, everywhere, his face, neck, ears, collarbones, shoulder blades, back, knees, hip bones. He is my everything, the only thing I need, I want to idolize his body and character, I want to wake up with him and bring him breakfast in bed and wake him up with kisses. I feel like I'm going crazy, but it's okay as long as it's because of my beautiful Akito.