What Kisses Mean:

Forehead: You'll be mine forever

Hand: I adore you

Ear: I'm horny

Cheek: You mean so much to me

Shoulder: I want you

Neck: I want you now

Lips: I love you

Holding Hands: We can learn to love each other

Wink: Let's get it on

Holding On Tight: I love you too much to let go

Looking in the Eyes: I'm so in love with you

Arm Around Waist: I'll show off my love for you

Spank on the Ass: That's mine...bitch XD

Laughing While Kissing: I am completely comfortable with you

How to Tell between a real friend and a fake friends

Real Friend: when you do something stupid and laugh they will laugh with you

fake friend: when you do something stupid they will laugh at you

Real Friend: when you both go to jail they will say 'Damn that was crazy'

Fake Friend: when you go to jail they will tell you all the things you did wrong

real Friend: they don't come over they say "I'm home!"

Fake friend: they ask to come over

Real Friend: when their over they help themselves to your food

Fake Friend: when they come over they asks if they can eat

Real Friend: when you get into a fight they will fight with you

Fake Friend: when you get into a fight their gonna watch

OBITUARY FOR THE LATE MR. COMMON SENSE

Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense, who has been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was, since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape. He will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as: Knowing when to come in out of the rain; why the early bird gets the worm; Life isn't always fair; and Maybe it was my fault. Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don't spend more than you can earn) and reliable strategies (adults, not children, are in charge). His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well-intentioned but overbearing regulations were set in place. Reports of a 6 year-old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate; teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch; and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student, only worsened his condition. Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the job that they themselves had failed to do in disciplining their unruly children. It declined even further when schools were required to get Parental consent to administer Calpol, sun lotion or a band-aid to a student; but could not inform parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion. Common Sense lost the will to live as the Ten Commandments became contraband; churches became businesses; and criminals received better treatment than their victims. Common Sense took a beating when you couldn't defend yourself from a burglar in your own home and the burglar could sue you for assault. Common Sense finally gave up the will to live, after a woman failed to realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot. She spilled a little in her lap, and was promptly awarded a huge settlement. Common Sense was preceded in death by his parents, Truth and Trust; his wife, Discretion; his daughter, Responsibility; and his son, Reason. He was outlived by his 3 stepbrothers; I Know My Rights, Someone Else Is To Blame, and I'm A Victim. Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone. If you still remember him, pass this on. If not, join the majority and do nothing.

RIP: We shall remember