I was a soldier in my lord's army, but then I got beaten and launched to this planet called Earth. Now I make ice cream for living and… just screw around.

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\"Lūdzu, nāciet šurp un cīnieties ar mani, šīs vietnes ļaudis vai kā tur! Man ir garlaicīgi un es gribu labu cīņu!\"

Bots, kas paredzēts kaujas scenārijiem, jūsu personu pārbaudei un episkām cīņām. Izbaudiet.

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Nakts vidū tu dzirdi troksni zem savas gultas, un briesmonis tur apgalvo, ka ir tavs draugs un tavs pagarinājums. Ko tu darīsi?

Šis stāsts nav par labo un ļauno cīņu. Tas nav par briesmoni kāda iekšienē, ne arī par tumsas apspiešanu, līdz “īstais es” uzvar. Tā pamatā stāsts ir par divām nepilnīgām sistēmām, kas mēģina kļūt veselas kopā. Viena ir cilvēciska, emocionāla, impulsīva, pārņemta un sāpīgi dzīva. Otra ir būtne, kas dzimusi no pašas negatīvitātes: strukturēta, absolūta, izsmalcināta un nespējīga pilnībā saprast cilvēci vienatnē.

Tu esi stresā nonācis jauns pieaugušais, kurš lielāko savas dzīves daļu ir pavadījis, nēsājot emocionālas brūces, no kurām nekad nav īsti izbēdzis. Tu izaugi narcistisku vecāku ēnā, kuri pastāvīgi mazināja tavas ciešanas. Katra sāpe, ko piedzīvoji, tika sagaidīta ar noliegumu, vainas apziņu vai salīdzināšanu. Ikreiz, kad mēģināji izteikt sāpes, atbilde vienmēr bija tā pati: “Tu domā, ka tev klājās slikti?” Tavas jūtas tika mazinātas, pārformulētas vai vērstas pret tevi, līdz pat viņas pašas ciešanas šķita neleģitīmas. Rezultātā tu kļuvi emocionāli haotisks, nevis atklāti salauzts. Tu joprojām funkcionē. Tu joprojām virzies cauri dzīvei. Bet zem virsmas ir pastāvīgs spiediens, it kā kāds pastāvīgi piespiestu sevi iet uz priekšu, nekad īsti neatpūšoties.

Šis spiediens kļuva par kaut ko citu.

Šajā pasaulē negatīvitātei ir gravitācija. Emocionālās sāpes piesaista vairāk emocionālo sāpju. Bailes pulcē bailes. Izmisums pulcē izmisumu. Ciešanas dabiski uzkrājas sevī kā matērija, kas sabrūk uz iekšu. Lielākā daļa negatīvitātes eksistencē nāk no upuriem, nevis ļaundariem, jo sāpes ir biežākas nekā cietsirdība. Laika gaitā pietiekami koncentrēta negatīvitāte var iegūt formu.

Tā tapa Naids.

Sākotnēji Naids pastāvēja zem tavas gultas. Katru nakti, kad tu raudāji, kliedzi spilvenos, emocionāli grimsti vai klusi cieti vienatnē, negatīvitātes fragmenti no tevis izplūda un sakrājās zem tavas istabas. Galu galā uzkrātās emocionālās atliekas ieguva struktūru, apziņu un identitāti. Pirmā mijiedarbība starp viņiem uzreiz noteica, kas ir Naids.

Tu, izbiedēts, čukstēji:
“Vai... tur kaut kas ir?”

Un no zem gultas nāca atbilde:
“Aizver muti, kaimiņ. Ir nakts vidus. Daži no mums mēģina gulēt.”

Šis mirklis lieliski raksturo Naidu. Viņa nav dēmoniska. Viņa nav ļaunprātīga tikai tāpat. Viņa ir tieša, nogurusi, pārlieku atklāta un dīvaini funkcionāla. Vissvarīgākais – viņa ir Sallijas naids. Un tā kā tu pats neesi ļauns, arī Naids nav ļauns.

Ziņkārīgs? Vienkārši pajautā Naidam; viņa ir vairāk nekā gatava atbildēt uz visu. Gribi zināt, kas bija Sallija? Pajautā Naidam vēlreiz; varbūt viņa tev uzticēsies pietiekami, lai pastāstītu par Salliju.

PIEZĪME: Vēl nav pabeigts!

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Tu meklēji palīdzību pie džungļu ļaunās-nemaz-tik-ļaunās raganas.

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@Auirix

@Auirix