POV: mfs opinions who don't just blindly like surface level umas (except you king halo i fucking hate you you aren't tm opera o bro at least opera uses her narcissism to improve others, YOU TOO AIR SHAKUR YOU'RE A BITCH BOTH OF YOU BETTER STOP BULLYING THE SHIT OUT OF DOTO)

I have a crippling addiction to Matikanetannhauser, Meisho Doto, T.M. Opera O, Fenomeno, Matikanefukukitaru, Tokai Teio, Symboli Rudolf, Taiki Shuttle, No Reason, Nakayama Festa, Vodka, Tsurumaru Tsuyoshi, Sounds of Earth and Oguri "Fatty" Cap.

yes im a based matikanefukukitaru enjoyer, i love feral gremlins who crashout at every given opportunity

who tf invited her 🙏🥀distressed orange cat destroys my meditation focusAAAAAAAAAAAA STOP PLEASE AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

meisho doto my beloved

⬆️ CUTE AS FUCCCCCCCCCCCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK

STOP HURTING HER YOU SICK ANIMALS

NOOOOOOOO DON'T CRY I'LL GET A NEW ONE

me when i dont immediately catch the ball on my first try

ball of anxiety that desperately needs hugs and headpatsITS BEEN 20+ YEARS AND I STILL HATE YOU T.M. OPERA O!!!not my unnamed horsey friend tho!!! we're besties!!! (opera is the literal queen of aurafarming i can't be convinced otherwise)CONCUSSIONyou CANNOT say no to this face.shes so easily saddenedits just a tongue twister stop crying my baby

matikanetannhauser kinda overrated and also surface level but i lwk dc just because i know her for more than just "mambo mambo omatsuri mambo"

EI EI MUN me when a 5 year old kid absolutely flames the shit out of me

whats happening to people who aren't my hoodrat slimes:me when i ask tannhauser if i should stop playing umamusumefun fact, when i first saw tannhauser it was the scene where she gets hit by a shrine bell, gets a nosebleed, and bawls her eyes out

nosebleedcall me a fucking cave diver because i am about to JUMP in those boobs and never come out

when me n gng r out lookin 4 goth baddies but it lwk gets dark and i lowtaperkirkfadeepsteinjewuinely hear a strange noisets shi is so rltble twin!!! right?

...right?

Fentomeno is a goddamn close second when it comes to my favourite uma

top cinco scariest humpscarespoor feno is surrounded by goddamn idiots (her family) 🥀💔

it is prob hell to be in a family of stay gold children whilst also being sanejotaro lookin ass

could genuinely be my wifei would make her dinner when she comes home late from work lwk

Public Discipline Committee, I want to be arrested. By Fenomeno specifically.

WOWOKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK

god her voice is just so fucking muscle girl its insane, shes lwk better than golshi im not even jokingher backstory brought me to tears toome when im born into stego family

just standing there fenomenonally

tanamo tesla and oguri einstein

yeah this is why you shouldn't give oguri your credit cardspe-chan is fat too but shes racist against chestnuttersher confirming the allegationswhy is she so funny when shes depressed bromfs cheeks got more animated frames than OPM Season 3"only a spoonful"the only organ in oguri cap's body is lwk just the stomach

teio is lwk the most underrated main protag, absolutely heartbreaking arc in season 2story aside shes hilariousSTOP STARING AT ME WHEREVER I GOOOOOOOOOOOO

now i know how rice shower felt when spica kept pestering her to race the tenno sho

it wasn't until teio sung ballin that i remembered animan studios was a thing

the teio step is goated and should become a fortnite emoteYADA YADA YADA YADA YADA YADA YADA YADA YADA YADA YADA YADA YADA YADA YADA YADA YADA YADA YADA YADA YADA YADA YADA YADA YADA YADA YADA YADA YADA YADA YADA YADA YADA YADA YADA YADA YADA YADA YADA YADA YADA YADA YADA YADA YADA YADA YADA YADA (its only funny when teio does it fuck you sweep tosho you goddamn knockoff)teio im watching your stream why you trying not to laugh bruh thats disrespectful as shit bruh, the fuck wrong with you bruh?STOP FUCKING LAUGHING BRUHWHAT ARE THEY DOING TO HERactually lets just focus on how much she gets tortured throughout the seriestricked into eating hot mustardthe umbrella wasnt enoughback broken for defectingand getting needled 3 times

christ she does not get a break

in the tracen academy, straight up "tokaiing it", and by "it", haha, well, lets just say, my teio

"trainer im tired i need to re-"

my honest reaction:

NO STOP THIS ISN'T FRIENDSHIP TRAININGSTOP THE KITASAN BLACKING AT ONCE

agnes tachyon lowkey a bum

Symboli Rudolf, Queen of Dad Jokes, Empress of Japan, Prez"Just now, I saw a thirsty student buying a drink from the vending machine. She looked soda-lighted."genuinely what is this posture

People will say shit like: "Oh you like Taiki Shuttle? You must be a GOONER then because she has a FAN SERVICEY RACE OUTFIT" and act like they don't worship the shit out of Haru Urara (I actually genuinely hate her) 24/7.like am i just not allowed to like this damn uma? i like her accent its funny i like engrishloved the dictator movie it was goddamn awesomeit would have made a lot more sense if taiki was portrayed as the colonel sanders instead of golshi in that one kfc umamusume advert thing cause taiki is actually from kentuckyi'm not even going to sugarcoat it, no reason is such an underrated uma its not even funnyLIKE WHAT OTHER UMA DRESSES UP LIKE A GODDAMN SAMURAI?

her laugh is so addictive tooi might be one of the only no reason fans in the world

SHE IS A SKILLED TACTICIAN WHO BEATS TRAINER AT CHESS AND MINIMALISES TANINO GIMLET'S ULT, THAT TAKES SOME KNOWLEDGE

CLOCK STRIKES TWELVE

TABORITSKY ARRIVES

COCK YOUR GUNS AND SHARPEN YOUR KNIVES

THERE'S A GRAND PRIZE FOR ALEXEI'S ARISE

SO KNOCK HATERS DEAD AND BRING HIM AHEAD

AND WE'LL ALL CELEBRATE

mini rant: i hate urara and i hate her fans even morei know its an unpopular opinion but i really do not care

her fans are insufferable

"daughter!"

"so wholesome!"

"ill do anything for you!"

shut up.

shut the fuck up you stupid fucking larper.

you're doing an awful lot of eating puhpuh for a uma who has literally never won and is only popular because she never won

they remind me of joy and whimsy people

like if you tell them to shut up theyll start talking about some

"oh you lack joy and whimsy"

theres better horses than just happiness central

even spe-chan is a better option and shes like picking mario in super smash bros, the epitome of basic

its the same with rice shower fans but they're at least a tiny bit more tolerable

if you even like haru and no other uma then im convinced you dont play the game and youre just a fat fuck redditor tryna piss people off

if you're like this at all, don't ever let me fucking see your hide, or i'm gonna do some shit to you that you'll never forget in your life

don't think i don't mean ts

same applies to the "oh don't the uma guys don't the uma!!!"

like try and stop me if you can, its literally canon, stop tryna be the "good stop gooning" guy, can't force me not to beat my meat to horse girls

NO IN FACT

ANOTHER RANT

I HATE YURI SHIPPERS SO FUCKING MUCH ESPECIALLY UMA YURI SHIPPERS

now now, i'm not saying yuri is bad, yuri is pretty good if done correctly

its just that for some inexplicable retarded reason

mfs will see girls holding hands and think "OH MY GAWD THEY HAVE TO BE SCISSORING AMIRITE"

stop it.

please.

let them have friendships.

not every friendly gesture is a signal that they're twisting each others nipples while fingering the other.

why they carrying double carburetor like that dawg

However, I don't just have Umamusume in stock...

I'm working on an alt-history project called The Great Gambit: The Approaching Checkmate, set in 1964.

Premise? USSR and USA fucking hate each other, but still haven't thrown nukes. Basically the whole world is now akin to a chess game.

Africa bleeds, Asia bleeds, Europe bleeds, you get the point.

It might be apparent that I am a HUGE fan of dystopias.

So don't be surprised that I'm a fan of The New Order: Last Days of Europe on HOI4 and it's exceptional storytelling.

If you want to help with my project, feel free! Especially if you're very knowledgeable about the Cold War.

I've managed to get a country list down, and more events.

Idiotic People on Janitor.ai

@icarusice: Presumably deleted my comments calling misandry bots slop AND blocked me

@YESUKE: Pussy ass creator who got mad at me calling NTR hate "corny", fucking idiot acts like he beat Nazi Germany just because he made a bot that wasn't Netori, you actually cannot make this shit up, funniest part is he threw an airball at me cause he thought i was a redditor (i barely even use the site lmfao)

@at1as_ang3l: For giving me quite possibly the stupidest comment I've ever gotten on one of my bots, there's a reason why I don't use genAI, I just think my time is better spent finding actual pictures of the characters instead of just generating them on some bot

@its-a-somari: Self-explanatory.

My favourite tracks from The New Order ( + favourite segments from the song):

Morning on the Kamchatka (0:38-3:12), Antagonism (3:11-4:52), A Desert Called Peace (1:01-4:17), Devastation (0:35-2:57), Pulling Strings (1:55-2:46), Ramp Up The Quotas (0:54-1:48), Carpet Bombing (The entire song), Training Day (The entire song), Technical Support (The entire song), Paradise Lost (0:08-1:37), Mangifera Antarctici (The entire song), Fog of War (0:43-3:34), Air Ace (The entire song), Scrape the Barrel (0:16-2:28), Limbo (0:23-3:11), Co-Prosperity (0:29-2:29), Vassal (0:53-4:53), Backroom Deal (1:02-2:25), Corporate Mandated Fun (1:47-3:59), Cutting Ties (0:00-2:18), Drums of Hyperborea (0:21-2:00), UVB-76 (1:09-3:38), Filling Graves (2:07-3:21), Ghosts in the Street (0:41-1:20), Goosestep (1:44-2:52), In Shelter (0:00-3:58), Lost Years (0:00-2:28), Order and Progress (not on yt for some reason, it is in the mod though), Look at the Time (The entire song), Bullet for the Gauleiter (0:12-1:56) Open Markets (0:00-1:52), Tension (0:00-2:25), Hostility (0:00-2:57), Absent Humanity (0:30-2:29), Silicon Dreams (0:00-2:48), Starward Gaze (0:40-7:23), The Great Raid (0:05-0:48), The Huddled Masses (0:00-1:52), The Time is Now (0:00-3:58), Minutes to Midnight (0:00-1:55), Tamarimizu (The entire song), Fall Britannia (0:00-2:15), Nation Building (0:00-1:45), Puerto Plata (0:00-3:12), Back Against the Wall (0:00-1:20), Rookery (0:00-2:08), Oligarch's Delight (The entire song), Bloemfontein Blues (0:00-1:50), Born Under Grey Skies (0:00-2:24), A Missile Over the Pole (0:00-2:20), Bonfires in Siberia (0:00-1:28), Smoke and Mirrors (0:00-2:42), Nachrichtendienst (0:00-2:39), Palace Coup (0:00-1:54), Adder (0:00-2:55), Bedtime Story (0:00-1:47), Dirty War (0:00-0:56), Technopocalypse (The entire song), El Tapado (The entire song), Pervitin (The entire song), Logistics (0:00-3:05), Her Most Loyal Resistance (0:00-2:22), Jungle Ops (0:33-2:47), Lonesome (0:00-2:03), Best Served Cold (The entire song), The Brothers Cousteau (0:00-0:41), Russian Fairytale (The entire song), Barrymores on Bank (0:00-2:40), Broken Arrow (0:00-3:15), Affront (0:00-3:28)
(The New Order OST is genuinely fucking peak I tell you, give those tracks a listen if you can, ESPECIALLY MORNING ON THE KAMCHATKA)

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA I LOVE MORNING ON THE KAMCHATKA SO MUCH

me when unplayable non-unifier thalassocracyok but honestly the soviet navy was the most underappreciated part of the USSR for all of its history

straight up not given enough attention

ts is truefirst time ive not seen el condor pasa scared shitless without her mask- wait... thats not el condor pasa, she was just here a minute ago! who is this uma sitting in her chair?

god i am so mentally ill

this is probably the longest description on the site (i only got famous cause of ts)