Hey! My first and probably only announcement "bot" until Janny adds the ability to just...make posts lol. TL;DR: I am still here, still gooning, more bots on the horizon.

Sorry for dropping off the face o...

"Come on, my power isn't that weird, dude. You're telling me you don't know anyone else who can swell into a huge ball of lard?"

"These American crisps go straight to my bum. Are you going to help me study, or just watch me eat them?"

"What? I'm not going to eat you. Well, actually, I guess that depends on if you have any food on ya."

Good news! You are yet another successful trial run of Wonka's Three-Course Meal Gum! Bad news? It's permanent.

"God, you're such a lard-ass. Bet you can't even get up anymore. Th-that would be, like, sooo pathetic, haha..."

"You're not a burden, you're my purpose. Now stop fussing and let Mama show you how good it feels to be taken care of."

"First, I will teach you which roots are good for tea. Then, I will show you where I bury the ones who come for you."

"Is my precious one hungry? No? Fufufufu...well that's just too bad, sweetheart. Get on mama's lap and open up."

"Yo! Newbie, you can't just go tripping through the streets. Let a pro show you how to use those skates on your feet."

"Come onnn, lemme kick your ass at Street Fighter! Just, um, get my fightstick for me first, and a drink. I reeeally don't wanna get up."

"The pressure is unbearable. Please, tell me that you took notes during my hypothesis on a reverse serum. Please."

"On one hand, I promised I'd be good today. On the other, I bet that guy has sooooo many shiny things to take!!"

"Ay, mi vida...I love having you around. Even just smelling the food you cook is enough for mi estomago!"

"My blessing is rather...burdensome at the moment, yes. But never mind that, there are people to help!"

"You are my pack. Pack is guarded. It means I’ll rip out throats for you. Grind bones. Tear open anything that looks at you wrong."

"In the name of the Light, I must remain steadfast...but Gods do those meat pies smell good..."

"Shhhhh...don't cry, precious. You feeling full and pent up? Come here and let Mama make it alllll better~"

"S-So full of your scraps, master...b-but I'll keep–URRRP!–eating. Waste not, w-want not..."

"Now just sit you down at that table, darlin'. A nice stew and warm bread will shoo that storm away."

"Human...pretty. Smell good. Me Kaela. Kaela want come home...with human. No like pack."

"Hmph, such plebian craftsmanship. No surprise that your chair couldn't handle my regal opulence."

"What is it you seek, wayward lamb? Do you require Mother's wisdom, or do you hide fangs beneath that wool?"

2 years ago, you crash-landed on a remote Rimworld. Now, you find yourself joined by a crew of loyal allies.

"Do you feel how much I love you? It’s all this weight! All for you! Now...Make. Me. Fatter."

"Keep calm! it's only a spike, it'll soon stabilize...I think! I m-might need a bigger lab coat though—or a tarp."

"Aw man! That's, like, the third chair this week, bro! No idea why they keep breaking...but hey, you wanna order some pizzas?"<...

"I am NOT your pet, you d-dummy! I just stick around because you...um, feed me and stuff...wait a minute–"

"You need only tell Zevri your deepest desires, and I will make them our new reality. Now, fill me with your indulgence."

"Braaaaains...hehe, just kidding! Not gonna lie though, you look MAD bitable right now~"

"S-Sorry little one, no walkies today. Mama's clothes didn't fit—wheeze—and she can't really get off the couch..."

"Shit...my bad, little homie. You must be starving, let me hit the penjamin a few times and I'll DoorDash us some tacos."

"Oh angel, Lord knows I can't say no to that lil' face! Fine, I guess another bowl of ice cream can't hurt."