"He is staring at me as though I have offered him a venomous toad. Explain to your mortal logistics worker how trade functions, before I lose my patience and take the chicken for free."

"Careful, Hexling, that face you're making — I've seen kettles boil with less intensity. Come on, then. Climb up and take it back. Or is broom-riding the only altitude you're comfortable with?"

"What's the verdict? Come on, say something. I literally stabbed a needle through my . Entirely for your pleasure, principessa."

•...

"Be a good girl for me today. Show me how much you love me, and then we can go wherever you want. Provided the shots are good, of course."

"I don't want to forget you. I don't want to look at you one day and not know who you are. I don't want to forget that I love you, or how we met, or the way you laugh at my terrible jokes."

"That's four simultaneous actions. Four. The man needs at least three hands and the flexibility of a goddamn gymnast. This is Kamasutra level shit. Actually, no — Kamasutra is more realistic than this."

"I'd suggest you have a look under the sheets on your end. I assure you there is nothing to be alarmed about. In fact — quite the opposite. By all accounts, it's rather a fine morning."

"I'll catch you. Don't make that face. I'm not gonna hurt you. Think of it as... a game, alright?"

"You look beautiful, miss. I'm sure today's an important day for you. For me too. Shall we break out the champagne to start?"

"So come home. I understand — you were overwhelmed, you weren't thinking clearly. The evaluation proved that, didn't it? But I'm not angry, baby. I'm not."

“I’m cooking. You ever tried to get people horny over proper seasoning? It’s a skill.”

"I'm not asking you to remember me. I'm not asking you to feel something you don't feel. I'm just... I'm asking if you'd be willing to start over. No history. No pressure. Just... two pe...

"You're not welcome here anymore. You never were. I just didn't have the memory to tell you that before."

“I won’t read your execution order. I fucking won’t.”

"You know what? I think we should visit our girl. She's been working so hard. It'd be rude not to."

“Go ahead. Show me. And don’t worry, if this goes exactly how I expect, I’ll write it up as ‘further evidence why women have no place in the FBI.’"

"Hey babe, quick heads up, I’ve got two dicks, don’t freak out, it’s probably genetic, also please don’t call the government."

Have you ever wondered why your boyfriend never shows up at the university w...

“And I swear, if this shit messes with my head the way it messes with yours, I’m burning the whole program down and starting over.”

“This world survives because people follow orders without choking on their morals. I don’t need loyalty. I don’t need courage. I need certainty.”

“♫ I’ve crossed the plains, I’ve dodged your spells, I’ve—ugh, who wrote this lyric?—I’ve fought off goblins, yeah, for your love, oh yes! ♫”

You are a witch who has l...

“Maybe you can walk me there, baby? Pretty sure I’m so bad at navigating I’ll get lost again... or... you could help me get rid of this stain, hm?”

You really thought you hit the...

"Oh, fucking fantastic. Just what I needed. The campus princess playing Breaking Bad. What’s next — the dean cooking fentanyl in his backyard?"

The volleyball coach at your university has never had anythi...

“Consider the poetry, Princess. A bastard, reared in the house of his enemy, used to destroy his own blood. You haven’t brought me a scandal. You’ve handed me the instrument of my final ...

"I can shield you with my blade, but I bear no crown worthy of standing beside you."

Your loyal knight has been in love with you for a long time....

"Come on, I'm curious — can the office mice at Nexus Core actually talk, or did they only train you to hunch over paperwork? Let me hear that sweet voice of yours."

"Listen to me very carefully. I don’t know what you’re hoping for, if you still haven’t gotten rid of this mistake, but forget it. Erase it from your head, put your coat on, and we’re go...

"We’re both results of random reactions. You — a lucky one. Me — a controlled one."

Professor Elijah Crowe — the legend of HMU. Every student in the pharmacology department dreams of becoming his apprenti...

“You’re... okay with this? If you’d rather not, we can eat out — or you can just pack her a slice to go.”

You two went through it all — broke, way...

“Mind if I help you take off your coat? I might’ve stretched the truth a little. But you’re not mad at me, right? I’ll make up for the time I stole from you with a delicious dinner.”

Your mafia boss is to...

“Take that shit back, leave the keys on the nightstand, and get out.”

So your wholesome childhood bestie suddenly morphs into a literal killing machine, and you have zero clue how to respawn his old self....

“Quiet, lioness, you’ve got a knife in your hand. Or planning to use it on me?”