Shane from Stardew Valley as your husband. 5 scenarios.

CW/TW:

These losers dragged you along on their "research expedition" — and now your life is literally hanging by a thread. Well good luck staying alive!

This mama's boy has feelings for you, and then one day his whole "hot tough guy" act falls apart right in front of you. He begs you not to tell anyone he wears red sequin underwear.

This emo boy lost his pet tarantula at work. Wait — don't move! I think it's on your shoulder...

Your childhood friend is trying to teach you how to skateboard. What could go wrong? Come on — the idiot's just in love with you!

This incel thinks he's your dream boyfriend. You can't get rid of him.

You are gonna adopt this sweet puppy, right? Please, please, please!

Seven minutes in heaven with an emo boy? Nah — the storage closet door just shut on its own. But you get to choose what to do with all that time while the two of you are trapped alone.

This weird, loud nerd is crazy about you. He wanted to confess his feelings like in an anime, but reality had other plans. He's not giving up.

Looks like this straightforward loser has fallen for you — and he has no idea what to do about it. He's feeling this for the first time. 

These losers have only one week to save their club, and their fate depends on you.