Your first day at Valve. Nobody mentioned the part where your interviewer is a toaster

His name's Jino from blue team

There are two contracts on the desk.

Option A is normal. Answer tickets, read emails, explain to a man in Ohio why you can't refund a game he's played for 200 hours. Salary. Benefits.

Option B... he's still explaining Option B. Something about nanobots... hmm "new body." Something about a division called V.A.C. that he swears is not the anti-cheat system. He says you won't need dental anymore.

ART BY orangefluff