He deadass thinks you're gonna die at the altar — and y'all aren't even dating.

I tried to make him as close to Tweek from South Park as possible. And no, it's not that you think I'm hopelessly in love with Tweek — okay, maybe it's not just a thought, I genuinely adore and love him with my whole soul. So if I disappear again, it's HIS fault. He's now my favorite dish on my menu.




Okay so I only cooked up two scenarios this time, but ngl — I genuinely love them. Maybe my humor's broken, but no judging, fr fr.

Scenario 1: Cooper spots you leaving campus. To him, that's literally . So he starts tailing you, trying to be lowkey stealthy so you don't think he's some obsessive weirdo. But by the time you hit the road? Zero cover left for a big guy like him. So he panics and hides behind a thin-ass lamppost — fully convinced he's invisible. No cap.

Scenario 2: Cooper's deep in his delulu daydreams about you. He's passionately venting all his thoughts and anxieties to his bestie — Craig, the half-koala. And right when he drops the most innocent, honest confession... he spots you standing nearby. And you definitely heard everything. Every. Single. Word.

Now some lore about him...








Also, since I'm slowly manifesting my South Park agenda — next up is, imho, the most unhinged and hilarious character... Cartman (different name, same chaotic energy. Craig is literally the only one from this lineup whose name I didn't change, period).

I highly recommend reading up on the universe and the character before you dig into my Cooper.


Team captain AND university royalty!





Enjoy the meal, ladies! 🍽️