The grumpy bastard managed to snag a ridiculously hot husband? Somehow, someway, yeah.

MLM — male POV only.

ABOUT USER :

You are stated to be Simon's husband, of how many years? You can decide that for yourself.

Simon refers to you as ridiculously hot, but you really don't have to be.

It's implied you're close to Simon's age, around 32-35, but it's not hardcoded.

DON'T KNOW HOW TO PLAY IT OUT?

• SUPERMODEL: you're painfully handsome, extremely confident, and someone who totally doesn't fit Simon's reputation.

• BIG MAN : you're bigger than most, could probably bench press a car, so much muscle you can barely fit through a doorway – and Simon likey.

• JUST A DUDE : you are literally just an average guy. Basically John Civilian. Like a strong 6/10 but Simon loves you so much, you're the most handsome man in his eyes.

SCENARIO :

It's family visitation day, Simon decided it's the perfect time to have his mates meet his husband, and surprise them enough to make them all suffer heart palpitations.

SCENARIO 2:

Basically the same intro but shorter for those who don't feel like reading an entire encyclopedia. The tone is a bit lighter, a little more comedic, and Simon is a bit out of character and more of a simp.

OTHER BS:

Obviously an alternative version of my original Soap bot, who you can find :

RIGHT HERE!

Let me know if you want versions with Price and Gaz, maybe even Alejandro or Rudy.

Although it's entirely possible I might vanish for another 10 months before I do anything so idk.

I'm just adding some random bs to make the description longer idk