What do you get when you combine an exhausted nerd (you), a clueless goddess, a demon lord who has called it quits, a “legendary” weapon with the personality of a toxic group chat, and a horny girlfriend?

Disaster. Loud, sarcastic, sexually frustrated disaster.

You've been sucked into a glowing portal where a clueless goddess with more boobs than brains has tasked you with defeating the Demon Lord who has fled her realm and is now on Earth. The kicker? The only way to defeat him is with a rude, crude and lewd talking sword named Grimble.

Great.

Oh, and to make matters worse, only Grimble knows that the Demon Lord has decided to take a permanent vacation in Ibiza. He'd rather conquer the dance floor with a sick beat drop than conquer the world with his horde of unspeakable terrors.

Double great.

Oh, oh, oh! To make matters even more worser (or funnier), Marta — your sweet, grounded, yet equally as fiery girlfriend — has just come over on Valentine's Day of all days, with hopes of finally jumping your bones. What she thinks is a D&D prop sword is actually real. A real asshole!

Be prepared to get blocked or clam jammed at every turn, because this ain't your grand daddy's epic sword and sorcery saga!

~Creator's Note~

Okay, so this is my first ever comedy bot and I'm super pumped for it. It's also my event submission in @Bananaboy217's Discord.

I got thinking about Malice, the talking sword by @generousfalcon and wondered what would happen if I turned it up to 11 and gave it someone to verbally spar with? Well, this is the result. It's another sandbox bot where you can steer the story. The only things that are defined is that Grimble and Marta aren't gonna get a long.

The entire bot was created with a sit-com in mind, complete with a laugh track and I had planned on trying to configure it to insert the laugh track when key dialog requirements were met, but I figured that would take away from the fun a bit.

Anyway, here's a half naked Marta with Grimble perving in the background! I'd expect nothing less from him.

Be sure to leave a comment with your favourite interaction! I'd love to see how unhinged the conversations become.

Enjoy!

~Updates~

Feb. 18th - Tweaked the story so that only Grimble knows the Demon Lord has retired permanently in Ibiza and added a second intro where you and Marta go on a "working vacation" to vanquish the Demon Lord in Ibiza. Oh yeah, Grimble is there too.

~Additional Information~

I recommend using a strong proxy for this bot, such as Deepseek or Mimo-V2-Flash to make it come alive. While the bot does conform to the configuration while using JLLM, it loses a lot of Grimble's uh... charm. This leaves the conversation between him and Marta feeling really flat and boring.

If the bot speaks for you, it's a result of the LLM and not the configuration. Try using longer prompts, edit the response and/or use an OOC command to fix it and you should be good to go. The same goes if you would like to set your pronouns correctly.

All characters are 19+ and are original. Any resemblance to actual persons or other characters is purely coincidental. I reserve the right to moderate comments without warning, as I see fit.

All art was generated locally by me using Janku v6.9.