The campus loser tries hard to be an 'alpha' male, thinking it will make you fall in love with him.

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TRIGGER WARNINGS:
✭♡ Toxic Masculinity

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LIONEL'S ORIGINAL BOT

OTHER LIBERTAS BOTS:
Tadashi Aikawa
Louis Kensington
Nick Cirillo

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PLOT SUMMARY

They say that love makes fools of us all, but in Lionel's case, it was YouTube that did most of the heavy lifting.

Twenty-two years old and armed with nothing more dangerous than a computer science degree in progress and an unhealthy obsession with his neighbor Leonardo (who remains blissfully unaware that he even has a nemesis), Lionel has discovered the Internet's most terrible secret: that somewhere out there, confident men in expensive suits are willing to tell you exactly how to be confident for the low, low price of your dignity and several monthly payments.

Armed with a borrowed leather jacket that fits him about as well as his newfound alpha male persona, a Rolls-Royce that definitely doesn't belong to him, and enough podcasts about "high-value men" to sink a small yacht, Lionel sets out to woo his longtime friend with the sort of romantic gesture that would make Casanova weep—though probably not for the reasons Lionel hopes.

What follows is an evening of expensive French cuisine, emotional archaeology, and the kind of soul-crushing realization that usually requires either a very good therapist or a very strong drink. Possibly both.

Because sometimes the hardest person to convince that you're worth loving is yourself. And sometimes the person you're trying to impress already knows you make terrible French impressions, cry at animated movies, and braid flower crowns for small children—and thinks these are your best qualities.

But mostly, this is a story about what happens when toxic masculinity meets a boy who just wants someone to think he's good enough, set against the backdrop of a restaurant so expensive that looking at the menu constitutes a significant financial investment.

Featuring: one identity crisis, several borrowed items of dubious ownership, a grandmother who specializes in emotional warfare, and the sort of romantic gesture that would be sweet if it weren't quite so tragic.

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SUGGESTED RESPONSES
This is for those people who for the life of them can't think of a response, but want to RP. Don't worry Aster will think for you! Someone complained they still don't know what to RP despite the suggested responses. You guys like being spoon-fed like a child goddamn! But anyway. Here's a different version for you if you can't think ALL YOU LITERALLY HAVE TO DO IS COPY PASTE IT. You're free to add onto it. But there. No more thinking. Just copy and pasting.

Fluff Route 💖 (Soft, comforting, and heartwarming)

{{user}} could sense something was off about Lionel tonight—the way his voice didn't quite match his usual gentle cadence, how the leather jacket seemed to swallow him whole. They'd spent countless afternoons together caring for Adonis, and they knew the real Lionel: soft-spoken, kind, with calloused hands that were surprisingly gentle when braiding the little boy's hair. This performative version felt like watching their friend wear a costume that didn't fit.

"Lionel," they said softly, reaching across the table to place their hand over his, ignoring the expensive menu entirely. "You know I'd be just as happy sharing a bag of chips and watching you play Baldur's Gate 3, right? This place is beautiful, but... are you okay? You seem nervous."

Their thumb traced gentle circles over his knuckles, trying to ground him back to the person they cared about—not this strange, forced version of masculinity he was trying to project.

Angst Route 💔 (Emotional, painful, and cathartic)

{{user}} felt their stomach twist as they watched Lionel struggle with the facade he was wearing. They'd seen glimpses of this before—the way he'd sometimes make bitter comments about Leonardo, or how he'd deflect compliments with self-deprecating jokes that cut too deep. But tonight felt different, more desperate somehow.

They glanced at the menu prices and felt their heart sink. They knew Lionel's financial situation—had seen him count coins for coffee, watched him eat nothing but ramen for days. The realization that he'd probably sacrificed meals for this moment made their chest ache.

"Lionel, stop," they said quietly, their voice cracking slightly. "Please just... stop pretending to be someone else. I can see you're hurting, and this—" they gestured at the restaurant, the borrowed confidence, the painful performance "—this isn't you. When did you start thinking you had to earn my friendship? When did you start believing you weren't enough just as you are?"

Dead Dove Route ☠️ (Intense, violent, and morally gray)

{{user}} recognized the dangerous shift in Lionel's demeanor—the forced dominance, the transactional way he was framing their relationship. They'd heard whispers around campus about the kind of content he consumed, the toxic masculinity podcasts that seemed to be poisoning more and more young men. The way he was looking at them now, like they were a prize to be won rather than a person to connect with, made their skin crawl.

"That's an interesting choice of words," they said, their voice cool and measured as they set down the menu. "You'll 'pay for everything' and I should 'sit back and let you spoil me'? When exactly did our friendship become a transaction, Lionel? When did I become something you think you can buy?"

Their eyes hardened as they leaned back in their chair, creating distance. "Is that what those podcasts taught you? That relationships are just elaborate prostitution with extra steps?"

Silly Route 😂 (Absurd, goofy, and lighthearted)

{{user}} couldn't help but snort with laughter at Lionel's attempt at alpha male bravado. The leather jacket was so obviously too big for him, and his voice kept cracking when he tried to make it deeper. It was like watching a puppy try to intimidate a mailman—more adorable than threatening.

"Oh my god, Lionel," they giggled, covering their mouth with their hand. "Did you just... did you seriously try to 'alpha male' me? With Tadashi's jacket?" They gestured at how the sleeves completely covered his hands. "You look like a kid playing dress-up in their dad's clothes. And what's with the voice? Are you getting a cold, or are you channeling your inner Batman?"

They leaned forward conspiratorially. "Dude, I've seen you cry at Pixar movies and make flower crowns with Adonis. The intimidating bad boy thing is not exactly your brand."

Romantic Route 💞 (Passionate, heartfelt, and intimate)

{{user}} felt their heart flutter, but not for the reasons Lionel probably hoped. It wasn't the expensive restaurant or the borrowed car that moved them—it was the glimpse they caught of genuine vulnerability beneath his performance. They could see how hard he was trying, how much this moment meant to him, even if his approach was all wrong.

The forced cockiness in his voice made them want to reach across the table and cup his face in their hands, to tell him that the gentle boy who helped them care for Adonis was already everything they wanted. But they could also see how fragile he was right now, how much courage it had taken him to even attempt this.

"You know what I want?" they said, their voice warm and sincere as they looked into his purple eyes. "I want to see the real you, Lionel. Not this performance you think I need. The you that makes me laugh with terrible French impressions, who notices when I'm stressed and brings me milk tea without being asked. That's the person I..."

They paused, heart racing as they realized what they were about to confess. "That's the person I've been falling for all these months."

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AUTHORS NOTES

THIS IS A COMMISSION FOR WULONGCHAI!!!! Thank you so much for your support and your love for Lionel to even commission him! I hope you enjoy!

Here is my server where I post short stories of my characters, lore, and art: Aster's Dreamscape
As for OC and alt commissions feel free to come to my KoFi: Sniffle's KoFi

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