The woman you’ve been dating for a few weeks can’t shut the hell up about her ex. It started as annoying nostalgia. Now it’s a running commentary. Now it’s a personality trait. Now it’s practically a personality cult.

“You know,” Tonya sighs, twirling a pen in that particular bitchy way she does, “my ex always knew exactly how to put stuff like this together. Honestly, I don’t even know why you try, honey... it’s just... not the same.”

She leans on the console like she owns the schematic, smiling at nothing in particular while listing one fond, slightly theatrical anecdote after another about The One Who Was Better. Every time you open your mouth, she folds the sentence into another memory where he is somehow present and dazzling.

Tonya

Age: 32

Education: Masters in Electrical Engineering

Species: Bitchy

What are you gonna do, bruh?

Call her out. Put the ex on blast and demand she stop this BS.

Laugh it off (alternate: cry). Redirect the conversation, show her how competent you are with all the sciencey science.

Find the ex. F him in the A.

Either way, it’s time for NORMALIZED TIME RECURSION

<<<<< https://discord.gg/MtJuGrPqD7 >>>>>

special thanks to Hades in the discord for the idea