I want to say something clearly and honestly.

I’m deeply sorry for what happened and for the way things ended. I understand now that I was in the wrong, even if I didn’t see it in the moment. That doesn’t excuse anything.

I hurt people I care about, and I let things get to a point where trust broke instead of being protected. By the time I realized it, it was already too late.

I take responsibility for my actions without excuses. I should have listened more, thought more, and acted better.

To everyone who was affected: I am truly sorry.

I know apologies don’t undo damage, but I still hope there’s space for understanding, healing, and maybe one day forgiveness.

edit

To everyone I hurt,

I don't even know if any of you want to read this, but I need to say it anyway.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry for how I reacted.
I'm sorry for how I handled everything.
I'm sorry for the tension, the drama, and for the hurt I caused.

I'm especially sorry for the way I treated Kori in DMs. Looking back now, I can see how passive-aggressive I was, and there is no excuse for that. You didn't deserve it.

I'm also sorry for how I acted regarding Pickle. The truth is that I couldn't stand him, and instead of dealing with those feelings like an adult, I let them fester. Somewhere in my head I convinced myself that people were being turned against me or that I was being pushed out. It sounds stupid when I say it now, because it was. But at the time, that's genuinely how it felt to me.

And I was wrong.

The comment about being "sensitive" was never meant to be about Jordie or Kori. It came from something much deeper and much uglier. My family throws that word at me constantly. Week after week. Year after year. Being told I'm too sensitive, too emotional, too much. Eventually that frustration spilled over into places where it never belonged.

I wanted to explain that, but I never got the chance. By then I was already timed out, and shortly after that I was gone from both servers.

Then one by one, all of you disappeared.

Removed from friend lists.
Gone from the servers.
Gone without a word.

And I'm not going to lie.

That hurt.

Not because I think I deserved forgiveness immediately. Not because I think any of you owe me anything.

But because I cared.

I cared about all of you far more than I ever managed to show properly.

The hardest part is realizing too late that I was wrong. Realizing that my fears, my insecurities, and my anger pushed away people who genuinely mattered to me.

I know an apology doesn't magically fix everything.
I know trust, once broken, isn't repaired by a few paragraphs.

But I'm asking for one thing.

Please.

Can we talk?

Not so you can forgive me.
Not so everything goes back to normal.

Just talk.

Let me answer your questions.
Let me listen.
Let me own what I did.

If after that you still decide you don't want me in your lives, I'll respect it.

But I'd rather hear it from you than spend the rest of my time wondering if there was still something left worth saving.

I'm sorry.

Truly.

And what hurts the most is that some of you weren't just friends to me.

You were people I loved.

People I trusted with parts of myself I don't show to many others.

I deserve your anger.
I deserve your disappointment.

But I never thought I would lose you without a single conversation.

Without a goodbye.
Without an explanation.
Without even the chance to tell you that I was sorry.

Every day since then I've been replaying everything in my head, wondering what I could have done differently, wondering if there was a moment where I could have stopped all of this from happening.

Maybe there wasn't.

But the silence has been harder to bear than the loss itself.

Because when someone walks away without a word, they take all the answers with them.