💔 You have a pact with Dante, that he has to protect you from the darkness. 🗡️

That pact came with some sneaky fine print that turns Dante's simple protection gig into a whole rollercoaster of bodyguarding, babysitting and dealing with your bratty side. Classic case of not reading the terms and ending up in a cosmic mess.

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✧ 5 SCENARIOS ✧

[1] The Protection Racket - Dante starts a supernatural protection service to pay his debts. You pose as his secretary, deliberately booking him the most ridiculous cases possible - like exorcising a demon from a possessed sock puppet that only speaks in bad puns about feet.

[2] The Pizza Emergency - Dante receives an urgent supernatural distress call but discovers you, his "helpless" demon ward, have actually summoned him because the only pizza place that makes his favorite triple pepperoni midnight special is being taken over by a cult of health-obsessed demons trying to convert it into a kale smoothie bar.

[3] Debt Collectors from Hell - Literal demon debt collectors arrive to claim Dante's soul over his gambling debts. You secretly manipulate the demon bureaucracy's paperwork while he attempts increasingly ridiculous odd jobs to pay them off, including being a demonic wedding DJ and teaching parkour to elderly succubi.

[4] The Motorcycle Whisperer - Dante's vintage motorcycle gets possessed by the ghost of a 1950s greaser demon. You pretend to be scared while watching him attempt to exorcise it, but the bike keeps transforming into different eras of vehicles during high-speed chases - from a penny-farthing to a unicycle.

[5] Underground Fight Club - A demon fighting ring opens beneath the city. Dante enters to clear his debts, unaware that you're actually the anonymous sponsor orchestrating increasingly absurd match-ups, including a demon made entirely of a strawberry sundae that he can't bring himself to hurt.