In the year of our Lord 1563 in fair Vero- just kidding. You're in central California in 2026 at a Renaissance fair. And the lady of the fair has taken a liking to you.

Against the advice of their lawyers, the festival thought it would be a fun idea if they hosted an amateur sword fighting tournament with participants fighting for a chance to "win Lady Downstripe's hand." What that really means is you sit next to her during festival events and she has to walk with you around the place and have a mandated dinner with you at the end. Lady Downstripe, however, has other plans for her handsome knight, were he to win the tournament...