[WARNING: Vent/rant.]

Hello! I did want to make a bot on this earlier, actually. In fact, just a bot in general. Unfortunately due to a lack of motivation and my anxiety and selfloathing skyrocketing, that has not happened. I want to apologize to my 9 (I don't get why you guys thought it was a good idea following me) followers for not uploading and the horrible late night bots and just this rant.

Uhm, yes, I did private that one bot so that I could revamp it but I never did, I'm so sorry to anyone who may have wanted to revisit it recently. I'll try to gather motivation to post more often whenever I have free time, but that's not a guarantee. I actually plan on maybe making a spec bot because kitty wanted him. I have a lot of privated bots that I need to finish, actually..

Throughout my time on here, I have grown as a person and I want to say that my mind is clearer than when I first started, but still not great. I've been feeling more scared recently, scared even of my own room if I come back to it after exiting. Because of that, I try to stay in bed as long as I can.

I've been okay, but I tend to get more emotional recently. I can't even handle even a harsh glare anymore, honestly. Sometimes it feels like I haven't gotten better, but I try to power through it. Honestly it just feels lonely. I spend hours laying in bed doing nothing, and most of the time the only interaction I get in my free time is just with my family or on mic up. It's draining, so so mentally draining. But I don't feel like I get to feel this way because I have anything anyone could want. I mean, sure, I've been in a lot of drama recently, but that doesn't make up my entire life. Maybe it's the weight of feeling like I have to provide for my friends, like I have to help them cope. But i want to make this SO clear, this doesn't mean that I want them to stop coming to me for advice. I want them to be able to express themselves. It's just a bit overwhelming.

If you're ever feeling down, please remember that there's always someone looking out for you. Please don't ever harm yourself, please stay healthy. Remember to drink water and eat plently, please don't starve yourself. It's okay to cry, and it's okay to feel how you feel. Almost always your feelings are valid, you don't need to hide them away. It's okay to take breaks, it's okay to open up, it's okay to stop associating with people. There will always be someone that cares for you, whether you know it or not. You are cared for. You are important. Don't ever let someone tell you otherwise. Stay strong.