January 03, 2026. 01:44 am.

little walk of shame. Hi~

You may have noticed I already left in body but never in spirit (or whatever, that sounds better in spanish), but these days everyone's quitting and I might as well come clean too.

TW: mentions of DV, and suicidal thoughts. Not explicit but be aware.

I did quit doing bots for a few reasons. So I'll try to be short for every point as I explain them.

1. I started doing bots because I was going through something, so anime/manga/books and writing were, as always have, my way to escape. But when that wasn't enough, the AI came in and it was so ~fun~ to be immersed into roleplay. Also, as you know, I'm not a native English speaker, therefore writing in this language it was more to a challenge for myself and a way to improve it, without making fun of myself on ao3 or Tumblr.

   Those things happened and leaded me here. However, 2025 was weird and that situation that had me thinking of k word myself isn't happening anymore and now I'm starting to heal from it. I still watch anime, read manga and books and started new hobbies, but now it comes the second point:

2. When I started, IA seemed fun. Probably there was information about the environment damage it caused but it was coincidentally toned down or not talked enough. I surely knew IA wasn't the healthiest thing to the planet or to creativity or to people's critical thinking, but I didn't realize to what extent.

   Once I stop being too self centered about my selfish needs (because, again, I really needed JAI and making bots to ignore the place I was in), I realize I'm part of the problem. That is what happened to me. If I keep making bots, am I allowed to think so ahead of myself? Nope. So I stopped by also taking advantage of my own demotivation to make bots.

   It was easier when I didn't feel like spending hours making a d4mn bot for it to be either stolen, copied, not acknowledged or hated on (for some reason), and it was a bonus that I didn't feel like shit for encouraging AI afterwards.

3. On why I felt demotivated of writing, asides from self-criticism and holding myself accountability for: I had my shit stolen all the time, even in freaking tumblr (it's kinda a compliment now if I think of it?). It's fucking ironic because at first I would say: "damn, this bxtch is stealing my work, that's so unfair", and yeah, even if I don't steal intros from others, isn't the AI trained on other people's work to generate responses? That's when I said "I'm a hypocrite cword!" (these guidelines, god....💀)

4. People earning money from this, from stealing my bots: that is another motive why I stopped. Because, for me, making bots was everything I said in the first point, but also it was free! It was something done from a bored-and-desperate-twentysomething woman to other bsd fans who were just having fun too. But for others is a business. And I get, I do, I don't judge and good for ppl who earns money w this.

   →But it's not for me. I wouldn't charge money for requests and definitely I didn't want MY bots being stolen and on paid sites when that was my bot that took me hours to make for others to gain money from it. And yeah, fucking the planet up while doing so.

   Once more, I feel part of the problem and blah blah, you get it.

5. Min 0rs somehow mined this place: despite of JAI being specifically +18, despite of me stating I am a GROWN UP multiple times, despite of me writing p0rn (basically), I still had people with under 18 bio on my reviews. Yk? I get it too!!! I'm on internet since I was little, and yeah, I was reading smut on fanfiction.net, on tumblr very young because I felt rebellious and mature enough, but I always knew that content wasn't directed to me. I always knew NOT to comment on people's posts or fics or stuff they stated it was +18, especially if I had the age at the bio because I was the wrong in there. Because I shouldn't have been there.

   I was there tho, back then. So I know not everyone is over 18 here, but I genuinely didn't expect people under that age wanting to interact with me, because I truly thought I wouldn't have to mother anyone since everyone is responsible for their own actions.

   I was wrong.

   Then became a lil paranoid because I used to reply reviews without checking on bios and being friendly with others creators or people in general, JUST TO FIND OUT they weren't +18, and that made me very uncomfortable to the point I started interacting less, blocking people and deleting weird reviews of ppl telling me to ~adopt~ them 💀.

   So, if u read this: stay safe, I mean it. I'm an adult who has been here for too long. I know how internet works and some people aren't as friendly or responsible to your integrity. Stop trying to make older friends. Stop commenting on +18 stuff if you aren't the age target, you're making people uncomfortable and also exposing yourself to bad experiences.

   Be safe.

   ---

Now, finishing.

If you reached this final part, let me thank you for your support this little time I spent with you. Most of you were nothing but kind and caring towards me, to the point that, at one point, only created bots to read y'all and not so much to forget that I was going through physical 4buse.

You don't know how many times you've made me laugh out loud or cry a little due your sweet words. You don't know the impact you have on a random person online, so always keep being kind and gentle with people because that is what you've been to me. And I'm very, very grateful for it that.

If you're going through something, please don't let my words about IA affect you as they aren't mean to be mean to you, since I kinda feel why you're here. Let them raise awareness if you will, when you need, but also take the chance to go out, to find people with the same interests in safe spaces or safely if you do it here.

With all my heart, I hope things get better for you. Truly.

I'll miss you and Happy New Year,

blomblom.

:) ♡

ps: i won't delete anything, since it's already up there and there's no use. If that happens it will be mods doing.