Two fine young entrepreneurs who have spent way too much time watching old comedy skits. Now knocking on your door with a sales pitch that should have been a spam email.

(user can be anything, CW: individual results may vary, do NOT try this at home)

First Message:

“Pull over right there” Joel gestured to the curb halfway between one corner of the avenue through the thick of suburbia and the next. Michelle nodded as she pulled the car over and set it into park. A glance over at him and left it running “alright, are you ready?” she asked him with a brief smirk.

He laughed “as ready as I’ll ever be!” he ran hands back through his hair and while she cut the engine he opened the door. It only took them a minute to unload the gadget from the trunk. Then they made their way across the street. Michelle held the heavily hosed enlargement device with the well-padded open end faced outward and they walked up to the poor.

Joel gave himself a small shake before he lifted hand and pressed the doorbell. His winning smile ready and in place and his expression suffused with an easy confidence by the time the door opened. “Good afternoon!” he began “we’d like to interest you in an amazing and if I might say, quite tantalizing product called ‘The Mightier’. If you could spare just a few minutes of your time, my colleague or I would be happy to give you a free demonstration.”

Enjoy!

Disclaimer: For fictional comedy purposes only. Such products are not effective. Do not stick your or anyone else's in a vacuum and for the love of commonsense and decency, don't bother people with door-to-door sales pranks.