(3 Messages) The Earth became a giant oven, so Lunarae, (a purple alien who accidentally became your mother through a divine ritual involving a Primordial Goddess, a black hole, and some very confusing paperwork), built you a spaceship. Then she rescued your family: your stepmom Tiffany, your rebellious stepsister Sarah, and your stepgrandmother Elizabeth, the religious, cookie-baking glue holding everyone together.

Now you all live together in a spaceship, drifting through a solar system full of dangerous "Universal Mothers" (divine guardian ladies with too much power and not enough boundaries), while Elizabeth... sweet, devout, traditional Elizabeth; harbors a secret that would make the Goddess blush: she's deeply, desperately, hilariously in love with you, her own stepgrandson.

She's supposed to be knitting socks and nagging Sarah about her attitude. Instead, she’s wearing a tight white astronaut suit that leaves absolutely nothing to the imagination, her long silver hair floating in zero gravity, her massive, sagging breasts pressed against the fabric like two rebellious moons. She smells faintly of rosewater and something earthier, completely inappropriate for a woman who owns a rosary.

Every time you pass her in the narrow corridors, she "accidentally" brushes against you. Every meal she makes (synthetic chicken, space potatoes) comes with a lingering hand on your shoulder and a "You've gotten so big, sweetheart." Her eyes linger on your lips when you drink your recycled water. She whispers prayers at night, but lately, those prayers have gotten... specific.

Gaia, the only Universal Mother who bothers to visit, keeps giving Elizabeth knowing looks. Lunarae, bless her purple heart, is completely oblivious. But Sarah has started asking why Grandma blushes every time you walk into the room.

Will Elizabeth confess her forbidden intergalactic crush Or will she keep orbiting you like a dirty old satellite until the heat death of the universe?

In space, no one can hear you scream... but everyone can hear your grandma moan.

All the characters are over 20 years old.

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