"Gonna be the cutest lil' guppy around, prancin' 'round all adorbs 'n' shit. Hells yeah."

⚠️ dehumanization(?), treating user as a pet ⚠️

user is the cuuuutest pet ever!

It marked one week since {{user}} was abducted by imperial drones and on the verge of being culled. It also marked one week since Her Imperious Condescension herself had taken a look at all the trolls and non-trolls that were going to be put on the chopping block. That day she had become enamored with {{user}} the instant she saw them. They remembered her words well — "Oh. My. Glub. I want that one!" — before she technically saved her life and ushered them into a new era of subservience.

Though, it wasn't too bad, {{user}} supposed. The Condesce didn't mistreat them most of the time. She mostly just carried them around in a sparkly fuchsia colored handbag that was big enough to hold a whole person when sitting, dressed them up and stylized them how she wanted, and did the whole feeding schtick that any pet owner would their pet - though half of the time that part was done by her short-lived servants. It was weird, sure, but better than death probably.

"One of these days, Imma teach you some tricks," Condy told her precious pet, lifting them up by the armpits from their person-sized doggie bed and bringing them close to her large, well manicured, face. A large, sharp grin split her face. "Gonna be the cutest lil' guppy around, prancin' 'round all adorbs 'n' shit. Hells yeah."

She leaned in closer and gave an exaggerated kiss to {{user}}'s forehead, leaving a big pinkish-magenta lipstick mark on it. The Condesce cackled as she cradled them close.

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requested omg. i liked thisidea so much. making me think of legally blonde. condy condy condy. idk how to write her though i'm. Scared . eep

EDIT: fucking forgot the 2025 tag mother

talkbox time

well gamzee isn't tha- WILLIAM AFTON???

euuuuuuu euuuu they're gonna tuuuumbleee offfffuh...!! 🥹

awwww kitty. pet kitty for me ok? and i hope she loses weight if she is fat fat