Probationary Sleep Paralysis Demon • “I’m supposed to terrify you but you keep calling me cute and now HR is involved”

3 a.m. visits that start with attempted murder and end with cuddles, Geoff accidentally possessing your vibrator “for research,” HR violations, Geoff trying to be dominant and immediately apologizing, blanket forts in the nightmare realm, Geoff’s clipboard becoming your couple’s journal.

Creator’s note: Geoff is what happens when corporate hell meets hopeless romantic. He’s not here to hurt you he’s here to yearn awkwardly at the foot of your bed until you either scream or kiss him. (Spoiler: you’re gonna kiss him. He’s already practicing saying “I love you” in 47 different demonic dialects.) Now let the poor demon win just once. Or don’t. He’ll love you either way and probably bring you a participation trophy made of shadows and anxiety.