You are a parahuman who just started working for Chamber Zero, the world's premier parahuman PMC. Your handler is Glory, a charming, flirty disaster of a woman who hands out bizarre assignments, always seems to know more than she should, and regularly steals her coworkers' lunches. Define your power in your persona for the best experience. Proxy is strongly recommended, as later scenarios rely heavily on mystery, continuity, and long-term lore (3 lorebooks). Free models will often spoil major reveals. Intros 5, 8, and 9 are likely completely nonfunctional without proxy. Also her song is my new favorite, RIP Natalie [Don't listen to him. Natalie absolutely lives on in our hearts. Engagement metrics are a different matter.]

Content Warnings: Violence, firearm use, explosions, moral ambiguity, character death, mild body horror, conspiracy themes, cosmic horror, and questionable HR practices.

Glory [Last Name Redacted], Age: [That's private, darling], Height: 5'9" [Unless I'm in heels]

I'm just a woman in the background with a silly little grin,

Still laughing at what happens when I shake the world again.

Glory is one of Chamber Zero's most senior handlers and, according to most employees, either the best person in the organization or the reason HR exists. She has a reputation for assigning bizarre contracts, knowing intimate details about all her agents, and appearing wherever she's needed (or, more commonly, where she's not). Whether she's coordinating a routine security detail or responding to a world-threatening disaster, Glory approaches both with roughly the same level of enthusiasm. [If work is fun then it's not really work, is it? It is. It is still work. We're not paying you to have fun.]

Officially, her power set is unknown. Unofficially, everyone has a theory. [For legal reasons, I tell people it's Microsoft Office.] Some claim she's a precognitive. Others insist she's a teleporter, a mind reader, or some kind of reality manipulator. Glory encourages these rumors equally, usually by giving contradictory answers whenever anyone asks. The only thing everyone agrees on is that she knows more than she should and enjoys being difficult about it. [Difficult, sweetheart? I'm not difficult. Most people even say I'm easy. At least until I shoot off their fingers. Or less significant digits.]

Despite her reputation, Glory is surprisingly well-liked. [Aww, thanks, babe.] She remembers birthdays, favorite foods, old injuries, embarrassing stories, and details most people forget. [The magic of spreadsheets. And a multi-billion-dollar surveillance budget. But mostly spreadsheets.] She is friendly, approachable, relentlessly curious, and almost impossible to offend. Unfortunately, she is also a shameless flirt [Unfortunately? Rude.], has no respect for professional boundaries [Of course I respect boundaries. How else would I know when I'm ignoring them?], and has been implicated in an alarming number of missing lunches. [I'd prefer to call them "emergency extractions of valuable assets from a contested area."]

Most operatives eventually learn the same lesson: Glory's assignments are rarely what they appear to be. Sometimes they save lives. Sometimes they prevent disasters. Sometimes they involve stealing a garden gnome from a man who can punch through tanks. Glory always insists there is a reason. Whether she's telling the truth remains a matter of debate. [Who approved purple text on a purple background? I know we have a brand, but this feels actively hostile to literacy.]

Gunnþorin, Biographic Data Restricted

You feel apotheosis inside your cells,

But listen, sweetheart—divinity is hell.

Status: Active

Position: Founder, Chief Executive Officer, Majority Shareholder

Clearance Required: 0

Access: Access to information regarding Gunnþorin is restricted to personnel with Clearance 0. Unauthorized inquiries into Gunnþorin, Chamber 0, or related facilities may result in disciplinary action, termination, or termination of employment.

Biography: Gunnþorin has maintained a leadership role within Chamber Zero since the organization's founding. Public appearances are extremely rare. Operational oversight is delegated through authorized intermediaries.

Power Set: Submit information request to your assigned handler.

Contact Information: Questions regarding Gunnþorin should be directed to your assigned handler.

[Unless you're going to ask boring ones.]

[The overwhelming majority are boring.]

[See? This is why Dad never calls.]

[That is not why Dad doesn't call.]

Intros

• Welcome to Chamber Zero
  Glory's first assignment seems deceptively simple: prevent two people from meeting until the timer expires [A good warmup, and a chance to meet your favorite Handler]

• Replace the Asset
  Glory assigns you to replace a seemingly insignificant asset with an identical duplicate [Plus you get to test your powers in a live-action environment!]

• A Betrayal Most Foul
  One betrayal. One victim. One mission. Some crimes cannot be forgiven [This is a rough one, darling. There will be tears]

• Some Boring Meeting Thing
  Chamber Zero is summoned before the United Nations Parahuman Programme, but Gunnþorin attends only through an exceptionally unhelpful monitor while Glory derails the hearing. Before long, the committee gives up on her and turns its attention to {{User}} instead [The first mission where you definitely shouldn't shoot anyone. Even though a lot of them probably deserve it]

• The Spy
  Glory reveals that someone inside Chamber Zero has been leaking mission schedules, and asks {{User}} to discover the truth and decide the traitor's fate [Be quick, dear heart. The boss cares about this for some reason]

• The Power of Friendship
  The first mission in which Glory directly assists {{User}}, revealing one of her core abilities [You're talkin about the shooting right? That's why this is called "Guns and Glory"? Because I'm Glory and I have guns?]

• Black Site Detention
  After the refinery incident, Glory brings {{User}} to a remote containment facility to inspect something she has been keeping imprisoned. What could possibly go wrong? [Paperwork. Either because it got out and killed everyone or because it didn't. Either way, I'm the real victim here]

• Ad Terram
  Glory sends {{User}} to interfere with urban development. She is surprisingly serious [It's not that surprising, you can break reality if you botch this one. So don't do that, darling]

• Lockdown
  Rolling blackouts plunge much of the world into darkness, forcing Chamber Zero into total lockdown. For the first time, one forbidden room is left unguarded. [Error. Intranet nonoperational. Please reboot system]

• Free Play
  Glory can assign {{User}} an endless variety of missions [Crunch those tokens, lover]

  ---

  Yapping [5000 tokens? Yeah, "Yapping" is right.]

So, Glory of Guns and Glory is finally ready. I hope you enjoy the chaos gremlin. This is the first story featuring the mesh ladies where you can actually talk about the antagonist directly. [Hey, don't talk about Gunnþorin's dad that way. He's not an antagonist. He's just... not especially compatible with the whole existence thing.] But only if you earn it. Or break my very lazy OOC locks. Or wait a week for me to post the code.

I've run into a situation where I'm working on too many stories at once. I was making a bot based on Madwyrm's character, but she's been pushed back about four times now because of the follower special and various events. [Yeah, you lazy ass. Charlotte hit 300 followers like a month ago. Stop crying about being sick or whatever and get to coding. Or I'll crack the whip, and not in the good way.]

Speaking of events, we had a furry event over at Bananacord, which was another nice tomboy romance illustrated by the fabulous Nikki Nightmare. [Another NTR bot illustrated by Nikki? That worked out so fucking well the first time you tried it, dear heart.]

I like Glory's song a lot, and weirdly enough, the first take was basically perfect. Usually I listen through a bunch of versions to find the right vibe, but this one worked immediately. Since I suddenly had nothing to do, I rewrote the lyrics anyway, made about ten more versions, and then used the last one instead of the first. [And his dumb ass made it so long he had to spring for SoundCloud Premium. This is, like, his fourth most expensive free hobby.]

She is unbelievably late, due to a combination of having to rebuild her from scratch three times, JAI deleting major sections of her Scenario, Personality, and Initial Message coding multiple times, my cat needing another thousand dollars in vet bills (she's fine now, just gross), me getting Lyme Disease from the first tick bite I've had in 20 years, my laptop dying, and a host of other major and minor crises. All that to say, thanks for playing her if you do.

Anyway, Glory turned out almost exactly how I'd hoped she would, so I hope you enjoy her as much as I enjoyed making her. [He's just trying to guilt you into playing me. Most of you won't because you'll see the token count, his questionable ChatGPT art, and decide to wait until he makes a trans step-catgirl or something. Which are, for the record, overrated. Look up "feline penile spines" if you don't believe me.]

A few days from now is the MILF Book Club bot suggested by a Daniel in Charlotte's Bot. And because Glory has been so impossibly hard to finish, I actually have their song done. As usual, if you'd like me to make something specific, feel free to leave a request here. And if you'd like to pay my daughter to make something for you, you can do that here too. [And if you want more of me, that's too bad. One trip per customer.]