I am tired. It seems that nothing well happens to me anymore.

I just lost a real friend of mine, and I will not see or be able to speak to him for the next years to come. My mental state is only worsened from where it began. I thought I had hit rock bottom, but I had managed to sink further. Some might say, "If you hit rock bottom, the only way is up." That may be true in the eyes of the hope filled one, but is untrue in the eye of one with weights pulling him further into the dark chasm.

My mental state is as a riptide taking a child mid-swim, there is no salvation. My life feels meaningless and nothing good is to come from living. Does this mean I will take the cowards way to peace?

Negative. This is the life I was forced into without warning, and the only way out is to be forced out the same way. And if I go, there is no life after to welcome me.

God is non-existent, it is obvious now. Any who thinks opposite has the veil of obliviousness hung in front of their eyes, and they refuse to see the truth. If God was real he would have taken his own life from the horror he had created. There is no God to save us from the pit we ourselves have dug and no ladder to climb out.

Human intelligence and free-will have doomed us from inception, and everyone fails to see.

Most who read will be oblivious to my words, casting upon me a shadow of doubt and introspection. Just know that no matter how holy your life you have lived that you will never leave the pit of Hell that you have helped the entirety of humanity dig.