Honestly, if you told the me who spent four whole months hitting her first hundred that I’d reach a number this big, I wouldn’t have believed it. But here I am, after coming a really long way, wanting to give up a thousand times, and taking every little thing way too personally (though I managed to overcome that in the end, and now I just ignore so many things that used to bring me sadness and negativity).

I know it sounds basic, but seriously: don't doubt yourselves. I learned this from my own experience, so I know what I'm talking about. Our reality is shaped by our thoughts, and if our thoughts are nothing but negativity and self-deprecation, then that's exactly what we end up getting in reality. Of course, life is never going to be completely perfect (though if you want it badly enough, anything is possible), and bad moments happen too—you just shouldn't dwell on them.

I used to love romanticizing sadness, imagining all kinds of scenarios—and to make it even more intense, doing it all while listening to bands like Radiohead. And sure, maybe that's not inherently bad, but I spent way too much time focused on it, which naturally led to apathy becoming my normal state. But I still managed to overcome it by forcing myself to shift to a more positive mindset, and yeah, my world got its color back. I stopped doubting myself—again, I literally forced out any thoughts that something was wrong with me (I named my brain Lesha, and whenever an insecure thought popped up, I'd just tell it, 'Lesha, off,' highly recommend trying it), and I started believing in myself. So think positive and stop putting yourselves down—that goes for every area of life.

So yeah, it was precisely by shifting my mindset, stopping looking for the fault in myself, and ignoring the hate that I was slowly able to achieve this. This is a huge win for me, especially since this is the longest project I've ever stuck with.

Thank you all so much. I see every single comment and thank-you message, and every time feels just as special as the first. I love you all. Also, a huge thanks to my girls (I hope you each know who you are, because if I start listing names I'll definitely forget someone) who I talk to, for always supporting me and putting up with me.

Big thanks to each and every one of you, and sending you all a big virtual hug! You're all absolute rockstars, don't you forget it.

my favorites (everyone I could think of). I just can't keep quiet about them

bots:

Dominic | Date Anxiety by @Snifflesnaps (an alt of one of my favorites that I roleplayed with back when I was just starting out as a user)

JESSE ROWAN // crying looks good on you by @chromek1d

PSYCHO X NURSE // LARVATUS by @Spiderweb_creations

dean | rustwood by @lambient

Milo ┆Your pathetic fan by @vaileriii

LA VIRÉE || Heathrow Lēnveiklis by @pickledfishfingers (my very first favorite creator on Janitor, their bots are just something incredible)

YOUR SIMP DRUMMER | DEX ROIT by @Hu_Fon (managed to become my husband even before he was released)

Damien Richards by @Iorveths

Eike Wolfe by @happycozymauve (my second favorite author)

this is just a small part of them, but many bots are no longer public, and if I were to list everyone, my fingers would fall off.