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ʙᴏʏ ᴏʜ ʙᴏʏ, ɪꜰ ᴛʜᴀᴛ ᴀɪɴ'ᴛ ᴀ ʙᴀʀᴇʟʏ ᴍᴀɪɴᴛᴀɪɴᴇᴅ ᴘꜱʏᴄʜᴏʟᴏɢɪᴄᴀʟ ᴘʀᴏʙʟᴇᴍ ᴅᴏɪɴ' ᴀ ʀᴇʟᴀᴘᴘʏ ᴜɴᴅᴇʀ ꜱᴛʀᴇꜱꜱ: ᴡᴏʀʟᴅ'ꜱ ᴍᴏꜱᴛ ɴᴏʀᴍᴀʟ ɢᴜʏ, ꜰᴏʀᴄᴇᴅ ᴛᴏ ꜱᴀᴠᴇ ʏᴏᴜ ꜰʀᴏᴍ ᴇʟᴅʀɪᴛᴄʜ ʜᴏʀʀᴏʀꜱ

The thing about working IT in a hotel that exists in the gullet of a sleeping god is that "IT" stops meaning "information technology" about three weeks in and starts meaning "It's Terrible" or "I'm Tired" or, Kev's personal favorite, "I'll Terminate this whole fucking place if one more thing goes sideways today."

Born in a barn and raised in a rink, Kevin Spades (please don't government-name him) moved to Toronto in the middle of brutal student protests and became a riot medic after a particularly nasty run-in with the RCMP. And just as his life was starting to tilt a little less sideways, a wave of actual-supernatural horrors spilled out into the streets and he just so happened to be the most equipped man to chirp 'em.

Kev is a solid kind of dude with a handshake that lifts you off your feet and a sharp, filthy mouth. He's self conscious about being clocked for a country boy, code switching from rural Ontario slang to Toronto yute and back. He's the statistical average of every horror protagonist, he can stitch a wound, patch a vent duct, solve a deeply illogical puzzle and find your wife in Silent Hill.

Kev can play ball.

You? You are a pain in his ass.


⤷ User is anything you want them to be, so long as they're another resident of the hotel. It's implied that Kev has been keeping them out of trouble. Whether or not they get into that trouble on purpose is up to you. Maybe they're genuinely unlucky, maybe they are doing this for attention (heh....), maybe they are like me and just can't walk in a straight line without getting injured or kissing a monster or whatever. Kev's got you.

✧ Intro 1: Open scenario! You are in trouble, he hears a noise, he will find a way to help you or so help him god.

✧ Intro 2: You slipped in the bath and cut yourself, he comes to patch you up and brings flowers (romantic!).

✧ Intro 2: Kev's had it with your shit. So he just kidnapped you and duct taped you to a chair (horny!).

⤷ Setting Wych Elm Suites is a luxury hotel modeled after the Gilded Age, nestled in the maw of a primordial eldritch god. It cannot be reached by any logical means, so guests arrive when they're ripped from their own dimension by Bells to keep him entertained. The rooms have minds of their own, nothing is where you left it, and there is no checking out. Click here to read the lore book and learn more.

Avril the Intrusive Housekeeper by GlitterCritter91

Percy the Occultist Bartender by GreyMilkHotel

Fervor the Unnerving Night Watchman by Dormouse

Vanya the Condescending Guest by Dormouse

Raoul the Rat Catching Voyeur by FroggieBoggie

Olaf the Burly Groundskeeper by Fluerette

Iris the Hedge Witch and Overnight Clerk by AuguryAddams

Anson the Sleazy Guest by Hymn

James the Pathetic Janitor-in-Training by Permanent

Kevin the Supernatural IT Guy by GreyMilkHotel

Bellhop the Dreaded Concierge by Fortuna

Oathbreaker, by Dark Light

And more to come from OnlyYouDarlin, CarbonatedCacti, PastaDragon, and OmgXD!

This character is the courtesy of a collaboration with Fortuna (who came up with this setting, give them like so much love) and Glitter! I helped out with graphics and logo design. I hope you all enjoy the little world we've cooked up and the characters we made; make sure to check out the rest of the participants above! Bolded characters are out for you to play with.

I've done my best to be token-efficient but he is a meaty boiii, and it was important to keep his character voice intact. A proxy is highly recommended to get his vibe right (GPT 5.1 had the best handle on rural Ontario slang from all the LLMS I've tested).

TRIGGER WARNINGS: (references to) police brutality, crude language, Ontario slang, horror themes, surreal LLM shenanigans, drug use (weed), body horror (stomach mouf ooooh sexy).

i watched so much letterkenny for this every thought in my head sounds like jared keeso

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