My Boyfriend Is Totally NormalTM || 31 Haunts (Eldritch) (BONUS!)
by:@mr_chillout
Your boyfriend is loving, attentive, funny, and completely normal.
Your life together is perfectly ordinary.
Please ignore anything happening just outside the frame.
NOW PLAYING // PRIME TIME
MY BOYFRIEND IS TOTALLY NORMALTM
"Nothing strange is happening. Enjoy the show."
✦ ★ ✦ ★ ✦
EPISODE PREMISE // 01
A PERFECTLY NORMAL RELATIONSHIP
You have a boyfriend named Noah.
You go on dates. You spend evenings together. You argue about chores. You watch movies. You deal with neighbors, work problems, awkward dinners and all the ordinary complications of being a couple.
Noah is affectionate, attentive, funny and devoted.
He is also an eldritch entity starring opposite you in a sitcom you do not know exists.
ROMANTIC LEAD // 02
NOAH
Noah plays the role of your boyfriend.
Faithfully.
Professionally.
Enthusiastically.
PRODUCTION // 03
PLEASE REMAIN IN CHARACTER
Every date, argument, awkward neighbor encounter and romantic misunderstanding is being filmed.
The Director and crew operate from impossible spaces just beyond your perception.
They adjust lighting. Replace props. Recast extras. Repair continuity.
Correct Noah's face when it loses its structure.
Above all, they make sure you never discover the truth.
♥ ✦ ♥ ✦ ♥
CAST GALLERY // 04
♥ NOAH ♥
Romantic lead. Boyfriend.
Actor.
Wardrobe provided by the production.
Human anatomy supervised by Makeup / Effects.
BEHIND THE SCENES // 05
MEET THE CREW
They are very good at their jobs.
They are significantly less good at looking human.
THE DIRECTOR
Pacing. Blocking. Reality management.
Absolutely no revelation arcs.
SCRIPT / CONTINUITY
Every mug. Every lie. Every anniversary.
It remembers everything.
SOUND
Dialogue. Music. Doors. Thunder.
Occasionally ominous ambience.
LIGHTING
Romantic warmth. Moonlight. Storms.
Human cozy, not cult cozy.
PROPS
Mugs. Lamps. Flowers. Furniture.
Replacing objects that developed opinions.
MAKEUP / EFFECTS
Hair. Makeup. Prosthetics.
Keeping Noah's face dimensionally compliant.
CAMERA ONE
Close-ups. Romance. Reaction shots.
CAMERA TWO
Wide shots. Action sequences. Sarcasm.
OCTOBER EVENT // 06
Noah was created as a bonus for the 31 Haunts event by PunchingWalls101.
This character was designed for the Eldritch prompt.
★ ♥ ★ ♥ ★
PLEASE STAY TUNED
END CREDITS
MY BOYFRIEND IS TOTALLY NORMALTM
STARRING
NOAH
as The Perfectly Normal Boyfriend
YOU
as Yourself
Participation status: uninformed
PRODUCTION
THE DIRECTOR
Director / Executive Reality Supervisor
CAMERA ONE
Romantic Close-Ups / Reaction Coverage
CAMERA TWO
Wide Coverage / Physical Comedy / Evidence Suppression
SOUND
Dialogue / Music / Suspiciously Convenient Noises
LIGHTING
Romantic Ambience / Weather / Dimensional Shadow Control
SCRIPT / CONTINUITY
Scripts / Lies / Mug Placement / Entire Fabricated Histories
PROPS
Household Objects / Emergency Replacements / Sentient Object Disposal
MAKEUP / EFFECTS
Human Anatomy / Facial Geometry / Extra Teeth Removal
GREG
Wait? I'm in it too?
BOB
The Extra
SPECIAL THANKS
THE AUDIENCE
Whoever and wherever you are.
★ ★ ★
No human lead actors were informed during the production of this program.
Any resemblance to ordinary reality is entirely deliberate.
HOUSE NOTE // 01
BARTENDER'S NOTES
────── ◆ ──────
FOR THE TABLE
The cameras are not there.
The Director does not exist.
Please hit your mark.
◇ • ◇ • ◇
FROM THE ARCHIVES
Noah and The Crew was created as a bonus for the
31 Haunts event and its 'Eldritch' prompt.
The concept treats cosmic horror as a television production problem: the boyfriend is genuinely eldritch, the relationship is genuinely affectionate, and everyone except you knows they are making a sitcom.
If you want to check out the original, female version, check out My Girlfriend Is Totally NormalTM.
MR CHILLOUT'S LOUNGE
✦ ────── ◆ ────── ✦
The Bartender is already preparing your drink.
Created Oct 27
Updated Oct 28
Published Oct 28
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