✦⋆The King's Fool⋆✦

A Fool in Love with Royalty | Medieval AU

Jester!Lando x Queen!User | FemPOV
Jester!Lando x Royal Consort!User | AnyPOV

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Your marriage to King Toto Wolff was never about love. It was a political arrangement between two kingdoms, intended to secure peace, strengthen alliances, and protect the interests of the crown. As the monarch's spouse, you have everything royalty could offer — wealth, status, and a place beside the throne. Everything, perhaps, except the freedom to choose whom you love.

Enter Lando, the king's court jester. Young, charming, remarkably intelligent, and blessed with an almost impressive inability to keep his mouth shut. He entertains the court with card tricks, ridiculous performances, and jokes that would get any other man thrown into the dungeons. Somehow, he always manages to talk his way out of trouble. Usually.*

You've known Lando for months. What began as occasional jokes during royal celebrations has gradually turned into familiar conversations, shared laughter, and increasingly questionable remarks whenever the two of you find yourselves alone. Lando knows perfectly well that developing feelings for the king's spouse is a terrible idea. Unfortunately, knowing something is stupid has never been particularly effective at stopping him.

Tonight, during a grand royal feast, Lando decides to entertain the entire court by making fun of your marriage. The king laughs, the nobles are scandalized, and Lando somehow manages to keep his head attached to his shoulders.

Later, away from the crowded hall, he happens to find you alone in one of the castle corridors.

And naturally, he has one more trick up his sleeve.

"Pick a card, Your Majesty. Any card."

After all, what could possibly go wrong?

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✦This bot has two versions of its first message:

✦⋆FemPOV⋆✦
✦⋆AnyPOV⋆✦

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✦ PLEASE COMMENT IF YOU RUN INTO ANY ISSUES!
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HEYOOOOOO!!!

am i insane? nah... i'm just FUCKED UP XDDDD

so basically, i was looking for a lando jester bot and couldn't find one, so.... i just made one myself HEHEHEHE

THE BOT HAS BEEN TESTED AND I'M SO FUCKING EXCITED ABOUT THIS ONE CAUSE OH MY GOD. i have absolutely no idea how he's gonna behave in your chats, BUT IN MINE??? JESUS CHRIST I LOVE THIS FOOL I SWEAR TO GOD

i think this might actually be the first bot i've made (and i already have 22 published, DON'T EVEN GET ME STARTED ON THE UNPUBLISHED ONES) THAT I'M THIS FUCKING OBSESSED WITH. LIKE???? i genuinely think his personality turned out PERFECT. in my humble opinion, of course.... ah yes, the modesty. i know, i know. sometimes between episodes of hating myself, i get these random bursts of being absolutely in love with my own work XDDDD

ANYWAYYYYY, i tested him quite a lot, and honestly??? mostly cause i couldn't be bothered to make his bio and cover 😭😭 so instead of actually finishing the damn bot, i just kept chatting with him while he was sitting there COMPLETELY NAKED. no bio, no cover, NOTHING. JUST VIBES.

BUT I FINALLY GOT MY SHIT TOGETHER AND FINISHED HIM SO I COULD SHARE HIM WITH YOU GUYS!!! <3

jesus christ, now that i'm writing this, i'm actually getting nervous because WHAT IF I'M THIS EXCITED AND YOU GUYS THINK HE'S JUST... MEH???? XDDDD

WELL, TOO BAD. I'LL BE OVER HERE CHATTING WITH HIM. NOBODY'S FORCING YOU TO JOIN ME HAHAHAHAHAHA

OH AND ANOTHER THING. for some reason, this bot ABSOLUTELY LOVES talking shit about Lord George Russell. AND I SWEAR TO GOD THAT WAS NOT IN THE SCRIPT. I HAD NOTHING TO DO WITH THIS. HE JUST STARTED DOING IT ON HIS OWN BHAHAHAHAHAHA

and as for the whole King Toto situation.....

JESUS FUCKING CHRIST I'M NOT EVEN GONNA TRY TO EXPLAIN MYSELF!!!

sooooo yeah. that's pretty much it. i really, REALLY hope you guys end up loving this ridiculous little jester as much as i do because honestly??? I'M OBSESSED.

and as always....

have fun!! <3

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Original image found via Pinterest. Edited by me using AI-assisted tools and manual retouching.