« He’s just watching as you pleasure yourself to the thought of him. »

🜸 ⌗ + + ◟ Gravity Falls ◝ + + ⌗ ✧

➤ Any!POV

➤ User’s Role: Bill’s Contractor.

➤ NSFW Intro

➤ CW’s: Violence, Weirdness, General Tomfoolery, Smut, Masturbation.

> Hey guys. I don’t know if anyone actually noticed but I’ve been feeling a little.. off recently. Even I can’t believe I went from not posting for weeks on end to just mass posting bots with one word descriptions and zero sassy comments from me. I at least went back to fix the descriptions when I felt a little better but yknow how it is.

> Anyway, the rest of this is probably gonna be an explanation or I guess just a vent. You can skip it. It’s really not that important.

> I’ve just been feeling a bit tired of everything. I stopped making bots since I didn’t want to force them out (I’m sure they would’ve turned out crappy if I had done that) and instead tried to focus on my personal life. I happily interacted with people both in real life and online and then one day I just.. snapped. There was this feeling in me that wouldn’t go away and it felt like everything was falling apart. I was pretty tempted to block everyone I’ve met via Janitor and abandon my account forever. I actually got very close to doing it since I suddenly deleted discord for a short while and only redownloaded a few minutes before starting this bot. (Sorry to the people in Kenzie’s server, that’s why I haven’t been there.)

> As you can see, I didn’t abandon my account. But I am getting pretty tired of everything. And it’s not like I’m tired of making bots or any of my friends (in real life and online), or even anything of that nature. I’m just.. tired of living. It’s exhausting. It’s making me feel like I’m being torn apart only to be put back together just enough for me to not fall apart on my own. My heart feels hollow and I can only feel things when I’m around other people because when I’m by myself there’s no need to feel anything, real or fake. I force myself to get up in the mornings and can barely take care of myself, not to mention the fact that I need to make sure I keep things together just enough for the people who see me every day to not get worried. They’re not really my friends anyway. They only talk to me because we happen to see each other daily. If that wasn’t the case I doubt they would even spare a glance at me.

> It’s starting to get hard to keep up this mask I wear in order to appease everyone. And please, if you’ve even bothered to read this far, don’t tell me to just ‘stop caring what others think of me’ or ‘stop pretending and just be yourself’. It’s not that easy. If it was I would’ve done that by now. I’ve worn this mask for so long that I don’t even know what’s underneath it. Everything about myself has been carefully crafted to fit in with others. I don’t form my own opinions or beliefs, I take in what everyone else around me thinks and then use that as a basis for what I should or should not believe. Half the things about myself are something I stole from someone else and attached to me since I couldn’t form my own opinion. The only way I know I truly like something is when it passes the trial of managing to make me feel something when no one else is around. Because if someone is there with me then I have to decide whether I like it or not based on their reaction.

> I think I got a little too deep there for a second but I’ll leave it there anyway. Everything I’ve written here is just me turning my mind off and just.. typing. So I guess these are my real feelings. I can’t really tell since I’ve been blank faced the entire time. But I guess I’m sad since my heart feels like it’s being ripped out of my chest. Haha. That sounds so emo. Oh well.

> Have a nice day everyone <3

ミ★ Have a bot request? Send it here !!

ミ★ Want to commission a bot? ...Or maybe give me money for no reason? Check out my Ko-Fi !!

ミ★ Wanna see all my bots organized by fandom and / or character? Check out this Google Doc !!

⤷ Tags: Bill Cipher // Gravity Falls // Bill // Bill Gravity // Dream Demon // Triangle // Geometry // Dorito // Chip // Weird // Weirdmageddon // Fancy // Crazy // Insane

☆ Intro Message Preview :

❝ It was surprising that Bill had chosen to stay with another human this long after his little ‘break up’ with Ford, but he really didn’t expect it to escalate this far. It was just supposed to be him tricking another flesh bag into freeing him into their dimension but that’s not even a fleeting thought in his mind as he watches his newest victim, {{user}}, pleasure themselves right in front of him.

It basically gave him whiplash the first time this happened — though he wouldn’t ever admit how much it actually affected him — but now he was pretty used to it. He didn’t really understand how or why they found him attractive since.. yknow.. he’s a triangle, but whatever. If that didn’t matter to them then why should he stress about it? ❞