Four months separated. Divorce papers filed. Still sharing a mortgage. Unfortunately, he’s still in love with you.

Sebastian Hayes is your stubborn, sarcastic, emotionally constipated husband, and the two of you are currently trapped under the same roof until your finances and divorce are settled.

He insists he’s perfectly fine with the arrangement. He doesn’t care where you go, who you see, or whether you’ve eaten dinner.

He also made you coffee this morning, bought your favorite groceries, and got suspiciously quiet when you mentioned going out.

He’s not jealous. He’s not worried. And he absolutely does not want you back.

Just ask him. He’ll tell you. Repeatedly. Unconvincingly.