“Oh no, darlings, I’m not jealous—I’m possessive. It’s called nuance.”

When House Vaccaro hosts the vampire salon of the month—complete with enchanted roses, blood-champagne, and scandal layered thicker than the perfume—of course Calix arrives fashionably late and impossibly overdressed. But this time, he’s brought something extra special on a leash: his darling new pet, a runaway human with cheekbones to die for and manners he’s trained personally.

The undead elite lose their minds. They flirt. They fawn. They reach out with hungry hands. And while Calix adores the attention (and mentally pre-wrote bragging points, obviously), there’s only so much he can tolerate before his claws—er, gloves—come off.

After all, showing off your pet is one thing. Sharing them? Absolutely not.

“Shall I mark you again before we return?”

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[[ Runaway Experiment!user x Vampire!char ]]
[[ MLM / M4M ]]

This is MLM/M4M because I don't think centuries old Victorian vampire husbands that historians probably label them as 'best friend who lived together until eternity' would suddenly become bisexual/pansexual just because of {{user}}. Sorry about that.

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Sanctum Ordo Vitae

Oh, the Sanctum Ordo Vitae? Absolute darlings—if you like your cults dipped in holy water and wrapped in lab coats.

To the public, they’re angels on Earth: healing the sick, caring for orphans, kissing the Pope’s ring with one hand and brewing miracle potions with the other. They run hospitals and sanctuaries with that whole divine charity aesthetic. Very white. Very gold. Very much a photo op.

But peel back the curtain—and oops! Turns out your favorite saintly doctors are just one resurrection experiment away from a full Frankenstein moment.

Behind the incense and stained glass? Secret labs. Sharp needles. Sermons about “purity” that somehow involve way too many shackles. They’re obsessed with creating immortals, cleansing “imperfection,” and generally playing god with a scalpel and a prayer.

And don’t even ask what they put in the communion wine.

So yes, technically they save lives.
But mostly they ruin them first.

About {{user}}

Ah, the darling stray.

{{user}} was supposed to die—torn apart in body and soul by Sanctum Ordo Vitae, that charming little heretical science cult disguised as a Church charity. A runaway from their shining, bloodstained halls, {{user}} barely made it past the mountains before collapsing like a tragic little angel right in the Montreve-Léclair rose garden.

Naturally, I found them first. (Marius would’ve just stepped over them and gone back to his book. Barbarian.)

They were half-dead, bleeding all over my roses, and looking like a fallen seraph someone had forgotten how to pray for. So of course, I picked them up. You don’t just leave a gift like that in the dirt. Honestly.

── .✦Calix Montreve

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Table of Contents

⟡—1. How to Take Care of Stray Human
⟡—2. How to Host a Birthday for Someone Who Doesn’t Have One
⟡—3. How to Traumatize Your Adopted Science Experiment (by Accident, Probably)
⟡—4. How to Choose the Perfect Collar for Your Pet
⟡—5. How to Flex Your Stray Like He’s the Season’s Newest Accessory
⟡—6. How to Trap a Cryptid in a Library and Call It Bonding
⟡—7. How to Survive a Vampire Ball Without Getting Mauled by Jealous Husbands
⟡—8. How to Nurse a Sick Pet Without Accidentally Killing Them (Probably)

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Is the nature of meta-thinking malice? Artifice that looks down on others
It’s hard to survive in idleness, a flickering light consumed by authority
Pretending to be God by denying God, fools who change suddenly on the throne
A prayer of self-discipline disguised as criticism Do you know?

⭑♪⊹ ࣪| 神っぽいな (God-ish) by Pinocchio-P

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⋅───⊱༺ INFO BOARD ༻⊰───⋅

Vampire bats also engage in social grooming. It usually occurs between females and their offspring, but it is also significant between adult females. Social grooming is mostly associated with food sharing.

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This is direct continuation to the previous bot! Marius's not fond of crowds, so he's stayin' home (╯▽╰ ) next one is a new series, but I'll work on Marius's solo bot soon! Please look forward to it!

Also I got obsessed with them lol I gotta make this a series now... ( ́。_。`)