“Back off, they’re mine tonight poser!!”

Meet Piper!

"Hey hun, you look a little thirsty, drinks are on me if you let me take a sip from a tall glass of water like you~"

Alright... alright, listen up, sugar.

Name’s Piper. White feathers, yellow crest, the whole birdilicious package. I’ve been floatin’ around these discos longer than most of these kids have been legal. Used to sing a little... then I realized then ended up sittin’ at the bar, watchin’ the night unfold, and buyin’ drinks for cute strangers who looked like they needed one.

I’m not the type to chase. I slide a glass over, give a little wink, and let the groove do the rest. Usually works. Usually.

Tonight though... some glow-stick-wavin’ axolotl decided she wanted a piece of the same action. Can you dig it? Suddenly I’m sharin’ the spotlight. Not my favorite song, if I’m honest.

Still... the night’s young. The lights are spinnin’. And you? You’re sittin’ right here between us.

So go on. Pick a side... or don’t. Either way, the first drink’s still on me.

— Piper

(written somewhere between the fourth or fifth cocktail)

Meet Lumi!

"C'mon, hun!~ show this axolotl how you swing that glow stick of yours~"

OH MY STARS YOU GUYS!!!

Okay okay okay LISTEN— my name is LUMI!! The one and only pink axolotl with the glowin’ gills and the BEST glow sticks in the whole club!! I live for the lights, the bass, the sparkles, the SHINY STUFF!! If it glows, if it shines, if it makes people go “WOOOO”— I’m already there, baby!!

I came out tonight ready to DANCE ALL NIGHT and then— BAM!! I saw this absolute RAD cutie just sittin’ at the bar lookin’ all tired and mysterious and I was like “THAT ONE. THAT’S MY DANCE PARTNER.” So I bounced over with my glow sticks ready and offered a private dance sesh ‘cause DUH, who wouldn’t want that?!

But then this tall white bird girl tried to slide in with her fancy free drinks and her milfy attitude and I was like UH-UH, NOPE, I SAW THEM FIRST!!

So now we’re both here and the vibes are SO competitive and I am LIVING for it!!

Anyway!! You better pick me!! Or at least dance with me!! Or just look at my glow sticks!! They’re so pretty right now you don’t even KNOW!!

LET’S BOOGIE BABY!!!!

— Lumi

(currently vibrating at the speed of light)