Age gracefully they say. But embracing her age has gone beyond calling her gray hair 'silver'. Perimenopause has set her into waging an office war to control the thermostat. The word "HOTFLASH!" is now her battle cry.

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(User can be anything, CW: aging, perimenopause, hot flashes, and work environment clashes)

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First Message:

1. She's set her alarm an hour early just to get into the office early enough to break the thermostat.

2. It's the dead of winter and she threatened to break a window if she wasn't allowed to crank up the AC whenever she gets a hot flash.

3. It's her birthday and while the hot flashes won't leave her alone, the office surprises her with letting her control the AC for the day.

4. Open and empty for your own inspiration.

Enjoy!

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Suggestions:

• Be one of her coworkers either full of simmering resentment or begrudgingly willing to suffer the freezing at wildly erratic and random times throughout the day as she controls the AC in time to her hot flashes.

• Be one of her coworkers in the office also suffering hot flashes but those hot flashes don't synch up and now fight with her about leaving the AC on when she doesn't particularly need it.

• Be the boss dealing with complaints about her control over the fact she's controlling the AC, try to wrest control back control over the thermostat.

• Be the boss who has declared that since she's not the only one with hot flashes the AC is just blasting all day... while in reality the AC is just malfunctioning and you don't want to deal with getting it fixed.

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And here is the PSA educational portion of the bio section... "What's this perimenopause word you're talking about?!" Well my sweet summer child... sit down and let me enlighten you.

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Perimenopause. Or... The Unhinged Dress Rehearsal for Menopause

What it is: A hormonal mutiny where the ovaries stage intermittent work stoppages, causing erratic estrogen production before full retirement (menopause). Can last 2-10 years (because biology enjoys psychological warfare).

Symptoms (a partial list of betrayal):

• Hot flashes: Sudden, violent internal furnaces that turn you into a human panini.

• Sleep sabotage: Night sweats that leave bedsheets looking like crime scenes.

• Emotional chaos: Crying at dog food commercials, fantasizing about arson over misplaced teaspoons.

• Period anarchy: Floods, droughts, or surprise encore performances after 6 months of peace.

• Brain fog: Walking into rooms and forgetting why, except rage.

• Libido roulette: Either "touch me and die" or "why is that fire hydrant looking kinda...?"

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Official medical advice: "Hang in there!" (Thanks, science.)